


i heard you had a slut mouth

by lohoron



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Car Sex, Cheating, Daddy Kink, F/M, Friends With Benefits, From Sex to Love, Gay, Hand Jobs, Harry in Panties, High School, Jock Louis, Light BDSM, Lots of Angst, M/M, One Night Stand, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Public Sex, Rimming, Slut Harry, Smut, Straight Louis, Strangers, and there is a lot of sex, but they like kinky sex, harry bottoms, harry is basically a slut and louis thinks he isn't gay, its not that much and nothing is like crazy, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis tops, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lohoron/pseuds/lohoron
Summary: Louis fucks Harry once at a frat party and suddenly forgets how to act.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 170





	1. the party and room 216

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So, Louis," Harry rubs his hands over the jacket, feeling at his number, "Quarterback, right?" Louis gulps, nodding again.
> 
> "So, what- what did you wanna talk about?" Louis's always been a charismatic little asshole. Super wise and a know-it-all. Excited about making fun of people, excited about making sex jokes about his girlfriend who he doesn't really love. But now he's standing in front of this boy who he fucked and it's like all the wind has been knocked out of him.

Rumors spread like wildfire in high school. Especially when the rumors are true. And especially when there is video evidence for it.

Harry shows up Monday morning after Friday's night events like nothing's happened. Because, for him, it feels like nothing has. There was a small little frat party at the community college near his high school and he had (obviously) attended. He figured it didn't matter much and it would just be a fun time.

He looked for someone to hook up with, finally letting it happen in the bathroom after having one too many cranberry vodkas. While he was being slammed into the counters by Evan, someone opened the door to his moans and crammed into the bathroom with them, watching and touching himself and God, Harry wanted a cigarette so of course, he lights one while he's being fucked. And when he cums from Ethan, the other boy follows suit. It's intense and lovely and they laugh into each other's mouths sloppily. Evan opened the door to leave, and just like it was meant to be, the song changed, the frat house went nearly silent and Harry shouted, "Fuck," in a whiny and angry and coarse voice and everybody within ten feet of the bathroom opened it up again.

Mystery boy was slamming into Harry and Harry was moaning and smoking a cigarette and laughing. Two other boys walked in and pulled down their pants immediately. There were six other guys outside, but the four of them kept the door open and the walls between the bathroom and the main room were suddenly very small.

Of course, in their crossed nature, three of the guys recorded it, recorded Harry talking to them like he was a porn star _("I'll let you fuck me and pretend I'm your girlfriend. I'll tape my cock down for you." and "Yeah, you're a dirty faggot, aren't you?"_ while sweaty and fucking tired and so high). Two of them saved it in their private images, as one should, the third posted it on his close friends story.

Harry walked away from the frat party with nine phone numbers, having taken four cocks in one night, and a grin on his face because fuck, I look good in these videos.

But now it's Monday, and the whole school has seen them, trying to figure out who Mystery Boy is, and trying to see if it's okay to comment on it. Harry's not ashamed; he's the hottest person in his grade and he has a perfect mix of femininity and masculinity and he was just a track star, for God's sake. Who cares enough to talk shit about a boy that runs track? It was just about the person who was fucking him, who he still doesn't know, and whether he would be fucking weird about it. He went to their school, he was wearing a Class of 2021 bracelet that they got earlier that day in school, and he had the prettiest moans out of any of the guys.

It takes him half of the day to figure it out. He remembers his laugh when Harry was laughing. And he hears the same laugh during Calculus when Liam reaches over to tell Louis a dumb joke.

Harry locks eyes with Louis behind him, and Louis turns red and away instantly. That's him.

Harry liked Louis. Or, well, the way he looks. He's attractive, generally; slightly rounded face with a tight brow and perfectly pursed lips. He dislikes Louis because he's an asshole. All guys on the football team are, he supposes. But he's closeted and sexually frustrated and cheating on his girlfriend, and so, Harry talks to him after class.

"Louis, right?" He approaches in the hallway, and Louis chuckles and nods nervously. There it is again. Harry leans in closer, bringing his mouth to his ears, "I know it was you."

Louis shivers, goosebumps over his body as he stares at Harry. He regains his posture and coughs awkwardly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"That's a shame," Harry smiles, and Louis has to stop himself from getting a boner because he's suddenly remembering all of it so quickly. "Come to room 216 after school, I'll wait for you," Harry whispers it into his ear, licking below it secretly and Louis actually fucking whimpers.

Louis spends the rest of his American Lit class trying very hard not to think about Harry's beautiful smile when he's getting fucked. Or his moans. Or his body. Or his anything. It fails miserably, obviously, and he has to think about dead animals for the rest of the class in order to get rid of his boner. And it doesn't help that he's counting down the minutes until school's out so he can go to room 216 and do _something_ with Harry. 

\---

When school is over and everybody's gone, which Louis made sure of, he sauntered over to room 216 nervously. There's a genuine fear coursing through his body when he turns the knob and gets ready to enter.

Harry is tired. He's been waiting in room 216 for ten minutes. He's a little bit stoned and he's kind of hard from looking at the Snapchat videos for a little too long. But then he hears the doorknob jingle. He thinks back to the party and to Louis entering and watching them. The only reason Harry doesn't remember his face is because he was tripping. He kinda looked like a monkey.

"Hey," Louis says awkwardly, his letterman jacket shrugged onto his shoulders and his hands in his pockets, smiling over at Harry laying down on the desks in the middle of the room.

"Hey," Harry says back, a lot more confidently, and he sits up. He motions for Louis to join him in between his knees, and so, he does. He stands right in front of Harry, just touching his knees but not yet in between them, and he smiles. "So, Louis," Harry rubs his hands over the jacket, feeling at his number, "Quarterback, right?" Louis gulps, nodding again.

"So, what- what did you wanna talk about?" Louis's always been a charismatic little asshole. Super wise and a know-it-all. Excited about making fun of people, excited about making sex jokes about his girlfriend who he doesn't really love. But now he's standing in front of this boy who he fucked and it's like all the wind has been knocked out of him. He can't make any jokes. He's fucking star-struck. Because fucking him was the best thing that's happened to him in a while. _And God, Harry looked so good shouting at me. He called me daddy a few times. That was hot, too. I wanna fuck him again._

Harry moves forward, pressing Louis in between his knees and smiling, looking him up and down. "I didn't know boys like you could fuck like that." Louis shifts, half uncomfortable, half too excited to see where this goes. Harry peels Louis's jacket off of him, letting it drop into the floor.

"I didn't know fucking a boy would be like that," Louis responds, tired already of a lazy facade, and he breaths onto Harry's skin and it's so wonderful and Louis feels like he's ready to explode.

Harry wastes no time, pressing his hand to the back of Louis's head to bring him closer, immediately crashing their lips together desperately.

"I have a girlfriend," Louis pants into Harry's mouth while Harry lifts his shirt over his head.

"That's fine by me," Harry responds before sucking on Louis's lips eagerly, swirling their tongues around carefully and excitedly and warmly. "Would you wanna fuck me again, Louis?"

He was drunk last time. Harry knows that. He wasn't piss drunk, but he was buzzed and maybe he's one of those guys that can only really admit he's gay when he's drunk.

"Holy shit, Harry, I would fuck you right here if I could."

And well, guess that's not who Louis is.

"Why don't you?" Harry says back, leaning forward, shirtless and excited and so hard. Louis's eyes widen as he kisses up and down Harry's neck and Harry wants to cry because Louis's huge hands on his little body feel too good to be true.

"Won't anybody come in? I wouldn't want anybody to come in, baby," Louis pants, flicking his fingers around Harry's nipples and Harry does that beautiful little laugh-moan and Louis feels so sexually frustrated he might come right now.

"Why do you think I chose this classroom?" Harry smiles, hands fumbling with Louis's button fly while they make out. "Fuck me on the desks, Louis. Fuck me like I'm your little bitch." Louis's eyes go wide at Harry, and Harry stares back at him with swollen lips and a flushed face and Louis can't possibly say no.

And so, Louis drops his pants, and Harry fumbles with his own pants, dropping them quickly and working hard to get them off of his ankles and onto the floor. And then he's naked, and Louis wants to cry because he looks so good. Harry grabs his dick, and it surprises him, but when he starts to jerk him off it feels like a dream and he never wants it to end. "Shit, Harry."

Louis grabs Harry's cock, too, hesitant on what to do next. He jerks him off, and then they're both moaning into each other's mouths with leaking dicks and tired bodies and so much excitement. Louis feels like he's on top of the world. Harry feels like he's just beneath him.

Everything moves so fast, Harry completely forgets about the condom in his back pocket. And it's almost intentional. Because he wants to feel every fucking part of Louis this time, to feel him come inside of him. "Louis, God. Uh-- fuck." Louis's handjob isn't god-tier, definitely not, but it's enough to make Harry moan and it's enough to make Louis feel like he's not doing anything wrong.

Harry spits onto his hand, lathering it with his tongue, and he spreads it all over Louis's hard dick, leading it to his hole as he spreads his legs to be around Louis's neck. He leans back until his back is against the desks again, and Louis shuffles forward to get a perfect angle.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard, baby," Louis mumbles it to himself as he enters Harry. Immediately, Louis knows this is the only thing he ever wants to do again. Harry feels tight and wonderful and he looks like a dream and he sounds like he doesn't even exist. "You feel so good," Louis whines, starting to snap his hips into Harry. Harry's mouth is open the whole time, moaning through his hand, which he's placed on top of his mouth just to make sure nobody would actually hear them, and he can't help but feel like this was how today was meant to go.

"Harder, daddy, harder, harder," Harry whines, pressing himself forward to kiss Louis. Louis doesn't hesitate to listen, slamming into Harry as fast as he can, panting into his mouth. "Ah! God, yes, fuck!" He does his little laughing moan and Louis feels himself go weak in the knees.

"I love it when you moan like that," Louis growls, holding Harry's waist to get leverage, while Harry looks at him and smiles with pleasure deep in his eyes. "Like you're laughing. So pretty. Oh- uh-" He's already so close, and it's fucking embarrassing, and he leans over to leave a big hickey on Harry's collarbone. "Wanted to tell you that Friday, too." He moves Harry so he's hanging off the ledge of the desk slightly, and Harry squeals when he feels the change.

"Touch my cock, Louis. Make me come -- make me come all over your hand," Harry smiles at him and Louis growls again, wiping sweat off of his forehead. His hand reaches for Harry's hard cock, immediately and roughly jerking him off while still trying so very hard to keep his pace of slamming into Harry's little body up. "You like that, Louis? You like -- uh! God, fuck me! -- you like fucking boys and touching their cocks? You like -- you like watching me come?" Harry's sentences morph together but Louis somehow separates them again in his head and he's so wound up and hot and he almost feels dizzy.

"Yeah, yeah, I love fucking you. I wanna make you come. I wanna make you come, baby," Louis's whimpering, his thighs shaking as he tries his hardest to keep slamming into Harry. His speed slows down, now going balls deep and moving himself around as he gets ready to come inside of Harry. Somehow, his hand is still extremely busy with getting Harry off while he rolls his head backward and moans and shakes, "I'm gonna come inside of you, pretty boy." 

And well, he does. 

It's fast and sloppy and so desperate that Louis feels like he must be dreaming.

"Oh my God, your fucking cum inside of me feels so good," Harry stretches his back, panting as Louis keeps fucking him, slower now, with cum surrounding his dick. "Louis, daddy, oh, fuck. I'm gonna come, fuck, fuck, oh my God!" Harry's body is so wound up, shaking as Louis lazily jerks him off and lazily fucks into him, hitting his prostate over and over again. Louis reaches down to kiss Harry again as he comes all over his hand with furrowed brows and quivering lips.

And only after Harry's completely done coming, Louis pulls himself out of him, watching his cum drip out. And in a moment of both weakness and delusion, Louis decides to dip down and sit on his knees, pressing Harry's cheeks further apart, and start sucking on his little fluttering hole. "Holy shit," Harry whimpers, looking down at his covered chest and feeling Louis's mouth around the tight muscles.

Louis licks his own cum out of Harry's asshole, licking thick stripes all the way from his balls to his hole, covering Harry's entire thighs with his huge hands. "You taste good, baby," Louis hums into his asscheek. Harry whimpers, squirming in place. Rimjobs are a weakness for him. You don't get a lot of those with random hookups.

"God, Louis," Harry laughs again, heart beating out of his chest, "you love this, don't you? You fucking love touching me like this, don't you?"

Harry takes the satisfied hum and wet tongue lick inside of him as a yes. Louis can't even deny that this is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

"You're really, ah, ah, you're really good at that," Harry groans out as Louis bites around his hole, dipping his tongue in and out, swirling it across everywhere he can. "Shit, you're making me so hard again."

Louis takes that as an invitation to reach over and touch Harry's dick again, firmly feeling his new boner and spreading his come from earlier onto it to slick him up. "You fucking love this too, huh? You're a little slut," Louis whispers it into Harry's thigh, biting the surface as he jerks him off. Harry nods, moaning with the purpose of letting Louis know just how much he fucking loved this.

"Yeah, I am, I am, daddy. I'm a little cockslut." Louis whimpers then, feeling something inside of him tingle like it never had before, and he moves back onto his feet shakily. He sees Harry's red face and sweaty forehead and panting body and he is 100% sure this is just a dream. "Slap me," Harry says, pressing Louis's hand from his dick to his cheek as Harry takes over jerking himself off. Louis hits Harry softly, and Harry chuckles, "That's all you can do? Slap me, daddy, hit me hard."

Louis hits Harry harder, and Harry laugh-moans, jerking his hips into his hand. Louis hits him again, watching Harry just jerk himself off to the view of him. "God, you look so hot," Louis mumbles, now pressing kisses to his cheeks and trailing them down to his chest where he stops at his nipple, biting on the hard little nub and Harry moans so fucking loud. Harry moans and he whines and he digs the balls of his feet into Louis's sides. "Come on, you can come again. Come again, baby. Show me how much you love being touched."

Harry nods, closing his eyes and biting down on his lip. He fucks himself into his hand and he feels Louis biting on one of his nipples while playing with the other and he feels Louis pressing a finger inside of his ass and he's gonna fucking come, _oh my God._ "Uh- ah! Ah! Daddy, daddy, I'm gonna come. I'm about to come, shit, fuck, fuck!"

And Harry comes again after a few more seconds of touching himself, and his cum squirts to Louis's chin and Louis's surprised but certainly not upset. He stares at Harry as he comes through his eyelashes and he's amazed by his beautiful orgasm face and his gorgeous little mouth. "You are fucking beautiful," Louis says then, wiping the cum from his chin, and grabbing Harry's jaw. Harry's so fucking tired he might as well be a rag doll. He watches, delirious and slightly high, as Louis kisses over his jaw and neck and as he nips at the skin just below his tiny patch of facial hair. "Did ya have fun, babe?"

Nadine, Louis's girlfriend, has called him daddy in bed a few times because Louis really wanted her to. But she never likes to hear shit like that. She never likes to talk about being a slut or how she's orgasming. She likes to just moan and it's fucking boring and Louis loves having sex with Harry, Jesus Christ.

"Of course," Harry answers with a loopy smile on his face. He reaches Louis's lips to press an open-mouthed kiss onto him, hot and sloppy and just tongues and breath and Harry fucking loves it. "I wanna show you I can be a good boy."

"Harry, holy fuck," Louis whines, staring right at him, "you were such a good boy. You're making me hard again without even touching me. How the fuck do you do that?" It's kind of a genuine question.

"Your cock makes me say things like that, daddy," Harry whispers back, pressing a kiss to his lips and wrapping his arms around his neck, "you fucked me so good and full."

Louis feels his knees go weak and he's fucking exhausted but he wants to fuck Harry again so badly.

"You took it so well," Louis kisses Harry, now, and it only then starts to kick in that he's in a fucking classroom _having sex with a literal stranger and that stranger is also a boy and oh God._ "I have to go."

"Louis, c'mon, just a little longer," Harry mumbles, kissing Louis's neck all over and smiling. Louis wants to leave so fucking bad, but he wants to stay even more. "We can get dressed if you want. Just stay a little longer."

"I have practice in an hour, I-" Harry kisses Louis's mouth, pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

"Just a bit, for me." Louis looks at Harry and he feels the same type of dizzy as before. He's fucking a boy. He's kissing a boy. He fucking loved it, too. Shit. Louis nods, then, kissing Harry again. He separates them carefully, putting Harry's underwear back on for him and putting his own underwear on, too. He pants, sitting down next to Harry.

"I'm not gay," Louis says then, quickly, like it means everything. And Harry nods.

"I know you're not." Harry leans against Louis's shoulder, still slightly out of breath. He looks down at his chest, and then he looks at Louis and he feels like a million bucks. He's trying his best not to notice the pain in his ass right now. "Would you... would you wanna do that again sometime?" He presses, staring up at Louis, who stares down. Their lips meet quickly and Louis feels all tingly and he fucking hates it.

"Yeah," Louis admits it like somebody else just spoke for him, "I would." He kisses Harry again, and again, and then he sucks on his bottom lip and he presses his thumb against Harry's nipple and suddenly he feels really fucking ready for another round. "Gimme your phone," he mumbles into his mouth, and Harry nods, pressing his phone into Louis's hands from right next to him.

He quickly types his number into Harry's phone, and then he places the device in between them. He pushes another kiss against Harry's mouth, hands on his cheek. Missing practice sounds alright. "Maybe next time we can fuck on a bed," Harry giggles and Louis chuckles with him, resting his head on top of Harry's.

"Don't tell anybody about this," Louis says quietly, almost like he's ashamed to be an asshole about it, and Harry hums. "Please."

"I won't, don't worry," Harry responds, "I like being your secret."

"Then that's what you are," Louis smiles, and he kisses Harry's hair, patting it down with his hand before getting up from the desks. "My little secret."

He rolls himself back into his jeans and letterman jacket and smiles at almost naked Harry. "I'll see you around, _daddy_ ," Harry teases, smiling back at him. Louis laughs, walking back towards Harry and kissing him one last time before turning around and leaving the room.


	2. 2 - teasing teasing teasing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three new pictures. Three new messages.
> 
> One more of Harry's ass. One of him touching his cock. One selfie of Harry looking sweaty and fucked out and hot.
> 
> _thinking of u during my free period._
> 
> _i wanna choke on your cock_
> 
> _oops, sorry, do you have class right now? :)_
> 
> Louis feels his dick rising in his stupid fucking sweatpants and he does not hesitate to immediately turn his phone off and stuff it in his pocket before raising his hand high up. "May I use the bathroom?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> consent notes at the end

Louis's in class when he gets a text from Harry. The first text ever since they fucked in room 216 last week. Louis was getting antsy.

He gets a text from Harry and he opens it in class and he really wished he didn't because it's a picture of Harry's fucking _ass._ He yelps, out loud, and stuffs his phone back into his pocket.

"Mr. Tomlinson? Anything you'd like to share with the class?" Louis tries his very best to keep up the asshole image, but he can't help the blush that creeps to his face as he responds to the teacher calling his name.

"Nah, I'm good, Mrs. Tucker. Thanks." A few guys snicker around him, and he shoots her a little smile. She rolls her eyes and gets back to teaching while Louis gets back to thinking about Harry. He turns the brightness on his phone down, holding it below his desk (which is, thank God, in the back of the classroom) and he opens his messages again. Three new pictures. Three new messages.

One more of Harry's ass. One of him touching his cock. One selfie of Harry looking sweaty and fucked out and hot.

_thinking of u during my free period._

_i wanna choke on your cock_

_oops, sorry, do you have class right now? :)_

Louis feels his dick rising in his stupid fucking sweatpants and he does not hesitate to immediately turn his phone off and stuff it in his pocket before raising his hand high up. "May I use the bathroom?"

Mrs. Tucker sighs, but nods, motioning for him to leave. He has never walked more awkwardly. Everybody knows he had a boner. For sure.

When he sits down in a bathroom stall and drops his pants, he's faced with a really hard cock and pictures of Harry's stunning little face and body and he is sure he's gonna pass out. Fuck being a hormonal teenager.

_yes i do have class right now tease_

_u look fucking beautiful_

Harry's sitting in his room, on his bed, with his favorite vibrator next to him and moaning quietly as he texts Louis. He jerks himself, softly smiling when he sees Louis's return texts. And a little video.

It's Louis dick in the school's bathroom while Louis quickly jerks himself off and Harry can't help but do it with him. And with one, sloppy hand, he texts:

_call me._

Louis does, and Harry answers like it's the only thing he could ever do. He puts him on speaker, placing his phone on his chest as he pants and tugs at his cock. "I wish you were touching me right now," Harry pants out, thrusting into his fist.

All he hears is Louis's little breaths and the vague sound of his fist on the bathroom stall's door. He assumes there's other people in there. Louis's scared because he didn't even check.

"I wish your hands were all over me, I wish I could touch you. Imagine me in front of you right now. Sucking your cock for you."

"Fuck," Louis mumbles out, and he feels himself getting close already because he really, really wants to be done. "Fuck, fuck, me too." He moans then, biting down on his thumb to keep it inside. He hasn't heard anything move the whole time he's been in here. He has to be alone. Quickly, he scans the bottom of the stalls; nothing. Thank God.

"I wish you were choking me with your huge cock, daddy. Holding me down." Harry's so loud and so gorgeous and breathy and Louis is gonna come so soon. "Imagine my pretty little mouth around you. Can you feel it?"

"You're gonna make daddy come," Louis whispers it, just in case, and Harry does his fucking laugh-moan and Louis's already gone. He comes into his hand sloppily, his noises breathy and shallow and restrained. Louis fucking hates Harry.

"Did you come, daddy?" Harry's pretty little angel voice asks, and Louis breaths out once more through his nose, quickly trying to clean up his hand.

"Yes, I did, baby." Harry smiles smugly, still slowly fucking himself into his hand.

"Good. 13 West Square. Be here in thirty." And he hangs up.

Louis's left in a dazed state with twenty minutes left in this class and he swears he's going to combust. He texts Harry the address back (just to make sure he actually heard him right), and Harry sends him back a winky face and a picture of his vibrator. Louis feels weak in the knees when he walks back to class after cleaning and washing his hands ten times.

Louis comes to 13 West Square after 35 minutes.

There was traffic coming from school being out and there was a need for him to smoke a cigarette out of the window before coming to Harry's house. He's been texted directions on how to get into Harry's house (back door; take the stairs directly facing it and then the door all the way to the end of the hallway on the left). Harry lives in a fucking McMansion, apparently, because his house is gigantic. It excites Louis way too much to know that Harry's up there, naked, sweaty and hard. And so, he kind of runs upstairs.

He really needs Harry to blow him. He hasn't stopped thinking about it.

When he's upstairs and he turns left, there are at least five doors between him and Harry's room. He does his best to not get curious enough to look at a few of them.

He opens the door, and Harry's laying on his bed, legs wide, vibrator in his ass, one hand controlling it and the other resting above his head. And he stops breathing when Harry looks over at him.

The room's filled with smoke, and a joint lays half-finished in the ashtray next to the bed with an untouched one right next to it.

"Fuck you, Harry," Louis chuckles, closing the door behind him and locking it, sitting down right next to Harry, who maintains eye contact with red and heavy eyes. Louis reaches over top of him and grabs the untouched joint, fishing a lighter from his pocket to light it. He shrugs his jacket off as he takes a hit, still watching as Harry stares back. He's so warm and sweaty and beautiful.

There's a little playlist going in the back, Still Woozy playing softly, and Louis can't help but stroll his fingers over Harry's little stomach. Harry's moaning, whimpering continuously as he watches Louis smoke.

"Been thinking about you for so long," Harry complains, squeezing his eyes shut now.

Louis coughs on a hit and then presses his lips against Harry's neck. He holds the joint so Harry can have a quick smoke, licking over his chest and neck like they belong to him. Harry arches his back and moans, so much happening to him at once.

"I've had wet dreams about your cock, daddy. About how full you made me feel. What it'd feel like to get fucked by you again." Louis watches and smokes while Harry fucks himself, and he traces his fingers through Harry's curly, pretty hair. "I'm so glad you're here, I'm so glad you're here to touch me, daddy."

Louis finishes the joint and leaves the filter and a bit of the burned bud in the ashtray, starting to feel it in his tummy already. He lays down next to Harry, taking his shirt off and giggling. "I'm so glad I'm here, baby boy. Beautiful, beautiful baby boy." Louis presses kisses against his chest, up his neck, reaching his hand to touch Harry's cock. Harry whimpers when he feels it, overstimulated from hours of playing with himself and coming and thinking about Louis. God, he's going insane. For sure. He feels lightheaded and off and fantastic.

"I want you to touch me everywhere," Harry whines, already feeling so much from every part of his body, and Louis nods, taking his pants off to comfortably bend down and jerk Harry off whilst traveling his breath over his stomach and thighs and use the other hand to play with his balls while his own hand fucks a vibrator inside of him. "I missed the way you make me feel," Harry hums, already breathing heavy and caving his stomach in pleasure. He becomes sensitive to Louis thumbing over his head, a loud moan escaping him every single time, almost like a scream, and Louis laughs every time.

"I missed hearing you moan like that," Louis smiles into Harry's neck. And Harry's already coming all over his hand, letting go of the vibrator completely. He's moaning loud and broken, wet eyes and wet hair and dry mouth. "You're sensitive today. How long have you been touching yourself, baby?" Harry nods, closing his eyes momentarily as Louis continues to calmly stroke his cock.

"'Bout two hours now. Couldn't wait for you, wanted it so bad." Louis laughs, pressing hard kisses onto Harry's neck. He's really feeling it now; out of body and laughing at everything the other him is doing. And it somehow makes it so much better.

"You're a dirty little slut, huh? Wanted me that bad? Look at me!" He slaps Harry's cheek and Harry's eyes open immediately. Harry nods, breathing heavy with wide eyes.

"I'm a slut, I'm a slut, ah!" He's come back to life, feeling Louis squeeze his dick and putting him in more agony. "Lou! I'm sorry."

Louis kisses all over Harry's jaw, sucking sweet spots and biting into his skin. Harry can't help but feel like he is the hottest person to ever be alive. "Why don't you flip over, baby?" Louis says quietly as Harry nods quickly turning himself so his head is maintained between his pillows and his ass is in the air. Louis almost moaned at the sight. Harry's genuinely wet hole, wide and fluttering and fuckable wet hole, looked fucking incredible. His flushed little skin and his beautiful hair and his back moles. _Jesus._

"What're you gonna do to me, daddy?" He whimpers out, loud and fake scared and Louis almost fucks him right then but he needs to keep teasing. He needs to.

Without thinking, Louis smacks Harry's ass hard, leaving a fingerprint nearly from back to front. Harry moans, staring back at Louis with big and hurt eyes and Louis thinks that's fucking beautiful. "Do you like that?" Louis asks, quietly and slightly awkward, because he's never spanked anybody before and he doesn't know how hot it is, exactly, but it feels good when Harry moans all breathy and he figures that neither of them will really remember what happened.

"Yes, yeah, daddy, fuck!" Harry starts to whimper, throwing himself back into Louis as a hint that it's all okay, that this is good, this is nice. Louis spanks him again, and Harry shocks up this time, smiling with pride. "Are you gonna fuck me, daddy?"

Louis stares at Harry's gorgeous fucking backside and strokes over his open asshole several times, never dipping in, "I'm not sure yet. I'll see what we can do, alright?" Louis rubs just against Harry's muscle, and Harry's whimpering into the sheets and he's tired and he's turned on and he wants to feel Louis inside of him more than anything. "You should be grateful that I didn't just walk out that door, you brat." Harry responds a lot to that; a curious moan creating into the pillow and Louis spanks him again.

"I want your cock. Please, please? God, I don't wanna wait any longer," Harry begs it, hot and empty.

"No, no, no, baby. You're a little brat, so you don't get to tell me what to do." He pushes Harry's head back into the pillows and holds it there, rubbing Harry's ass, now.

Harry can't do anything but moan into the pillow, body sensitive and hot. He feels Louis's hands on him and he feels like they're everywhere, waiting to make him feel insane. "Uh-- okay. I'm sorry."

Louis smiles and he comes to sit behind Harry, his ass wide open. Harry whimpers when he feels Louis's hot breath on his ass and he wants to cry when he feels Louis biting him. "Beautiful," Louis whispers, and it's almost like it's just to himself. "You're a beautiful boy. So hot. Fuck, baby, just look at your pretty little ass up in the air for me." He rubs himself through his boxer briefs, and he begins to lick at Harry's hole.

"I'm so hard, daddy," Harry whines, and Louis kisses around his entrance, breath lingering. "I can't stop thinking about you." Louis chuckles, reaching for Harry's cock dangling close to the sheets and tugging quickly. "Ah- ah! Fuck!"

"You like that? Your pretty faggot cock being touched and your pretty little ass being licked? You like that?" He mumbles it loud enough to make it intimidating in between playful nips and licks at Harry's hole. All Harry can do is moan in response, feeling so wonderful and warm and amazed.

"I love it, Louis. I love feeling your hands all over me. I -- I-- oh, God, I'm close," Harry's mumbling and Louis's smiling, suddenly letting go of Harry's little body and letting him chill in the bed with his ass up and his breath shallow and upset.

"You're not gonna come for now, got it?" Harry nods, and Louis makes sure he understands by slapping his ass and shouting, "Got it?!"

"Yes! Yes, daddy!" Harry looks back at Louis with his face red and his body so fucking tired.

Louis rolls him over, then, and smiles when he hovers on top of him. Harry can't help but reach up and kiss him, hands on his cheeks and bringing him closer because all he wants right now is Louis. "How beautiful you are. I feel you so much, baby," Louis mumbles in between the kiss as he grabs at Harry's waist and dips his thumb into his belly button. "Tell me how badly you want it. Tell me," Louis trails his mouth down Harry's body along with his words.

"Oh, God, daddy, I want your cock inside of me so bad," Harry whimpers, body squirming as Louis trails down and kisses his neck in detail, like he'll miss something if he doesn't. "I want you to tug on my hair and fuck me hard. I- I want you to make me cry."

"If I fuck you," Louis says, hot breath lingering against Harry's jaw, "will you be a good boy and ask for permission when you're gonna come?" Harry whimpers when he feels Louis's clothed bulge touch his naked and sensitive dick, but he nods confidently. It's all that it takes for Louis to rip off his underwear and sink out of them, dick now free and red and incredible.

"Can I--" Harry's suddenly shy, "Can I give you a blowjob, daddy?" Louis fights the urge to say yes. He fights it because he's in control and Harry can't have a say in what they do. "Please?"

Louis shakes his head, kissing around Harry's mouth and watching as Harry spreads his legs for him. "You're my little toy, yeah? I get to decide what we do." Harry feels shivers all over his body and he nods, holding Louis's shoulders tightly. Louis doesn't even bother to wet his own cock as he lines it up with Harry's hole. "God, I missed this beautiful little hole of yours."

Harry feels Louis's tip inside of him and he swears he's about to collapse, holding desperately onto a pillow next to him. "Oh, oh, God," Harry chokes out, twisting his head from side to side as Louis enters him inch by inch. "Daddy, oh God, I'm so -- Ah! Ah, fuck, fuck," Harry whimpers when Louis slams into him suddenly, once, so fast and hard and strong that Harry feels weak.

"Yeah, you like that, don't you?" Louis growls, reaching over to kiss Harry's chest. Harry nods, mouth wide open as Louis fucks into him angrily. "C'mon, princess." Harry moans.

"I like that," Harry moans out, digging his nails into Louis's shoulders, "Oh, fuck, daddy. I love the way your cock feels. Holy shit, ah! Fuck, fuck," Harry sits up a bit, whimpering in pleasure when he feels Louis's tip hit his prostate.

"Beautiful little princess slut," Louis groans, snapping his hips into Harry quickly and sucking on his beautiful neck to leave marks all over.

Harry's so close to coming and he's so embarrassed about it but it has to happen soon because he's way too tired to hold it for that long. "Daddy, daddy, can I please come?" Louis smirks, staring up at Harry and twisting his nipple with one hand, the other pulling Harry closer to him.

"No, baby, not yet." Louis's breath is heavy and warm on Harry's chin and shit, Louis is so thankful for the stoned him for fucking Harry for him. "Gonna be a good boy, right? Not gonna come yet, right?"

"Uh-- God, please, please?" Harry bounces up and down, his little tummy all twisted and his smile lazy and beautiful. "Uh- daddy! I need to come!"

"What do you mean need, baby? You can't hold it in and be my pretty boy?" Harry shakes his head, trying so hard to keep his cum inside. He feels full and tired and clenching his stomach so he can't come is really hurting him but he doesn't want Louis to be mad at him like that.

"I mean, I mean your cock feels so good -- so good inside of me that I can't -- I have to come, please, please, daddy!" Harry states up at Louis; innocent and big eyed and beautifully green and Louis digs his lips to his skin.

"Alright, you can come, baby," Louis whispers, smiling as his hips snap faster and faster, deep inside of Harry as the smaller boy starts to tear up when he comes all over his chest, breathing heavy and whining and kissing Louis all over again. He breathes through his nose so fast, his hips jerking around because he feels like he can't breathe and he can't control any part of himself while Louis is still fucking him. "Pretty little fucktoy."

"Oh, oh, daddy, I'm your little bitch, fuck me harder, fuck me harder!" Harry feels himself get close to passing out, so fucking turned on and overstimulated as Louis's mind tries to catch up with what Harry's saying, his body is already complying. He's fucking Harry even harder, bending over in agony as he himself gets close to his orgasm. "Yeah, yeah, you like that? You -- you like using me like that?"

Louis groans as he pulls out of Harry, jerking himself off quick and hard. "Yeah, baby," Louis whimpers, throwing his head back as Harry moves his body so his mouth is inches away from Louis's cock and Louis takes no hesitation to come all over Harry's little face. "Uh -- Jesus, shit, ah!"

Harry licks his own lips proudly and Louis breathes heavy, sitting down on Harry's chest carefully. "Your cum tastes so good, Louis," Harry mumbles with a rising chest.

Louis whimpers when he feels Harry jerk him off, already coming back up from his orgasm. "You make me feel like I'm going insane, baby." Harry smiles, and he reaches up Louis's chest with his free hand to tweak at his nipples tirelessly. His tongue hit Louis's head, and Louis really wanted to stop it because he wanted to save it for when he had more energy but he can't possibly find any muscle in his body interested in not fucking Harry's mouth.

Harry sucks at Louis's head, getting all the cum out of him and laughing warmly around his dick. "Don't I look pretty?" Harry smiles up at Louis after he pops his lips off, and Louis has never felt the feeling in his chest that he felt then.

"The prettiest, you look the prettiest, baby," Louis whimpers, watching Harry stroke him long and timid. Then he spots the full length, gorgeous mirror in the corner of Harry's room. "Why don't you come over there with me?" Louis says sneakily, motioning vaguely. Harry lets his two hands be grabbed by Louis, who places Harry onto the floor in front of the mirror first. Harry watched as Louis circled him, sitting behind him perfectly, spreading his legs so Harry fit perfectly in between.

"Why are we here, daddy?" Louis smiles, grabbing one of Harry's hands from behind and bringing it to Harry's cock. Harry immediately whimpers, purely so incredibly overstimulated.

"Want you to watch yourself play with your pretty little self," Louis mumbles into Harry's neck, pressing harsh kisses there. Harry whines when Louis takes his hand off of Harry's hand and places it across his lap instead. "And I wanna watch you, too, of course."

Harry nods, determined to give a show, and he stares at Louis in the mirror, jerking his dick with no remorse for soreness. His body is so tired and his cock feels too sensitive to even be part of his body anymore, but he wants to do this for Louis.

"Tell me when you like about touching me, Louis," Harry demands helplessly, whimpering into the air surrounding them as he pumps into his hand.

"I love how tiny you feel," Louis says, wrapping his hand around Harry's waist as if to prove and point. "I love how you respond when I touch your sensitive little slit." Louis thumbs over Harry's head quickly, and Harry's hips jerk heavily, accompanied by a laugh-moan. "I love the way your skin feels against my lips, baby." He kisses Harry's neck, sucking spots, and he touches his thighs and his arm and his nipples with so much attention that Harry might die.

"I feel like I'm gonna come again, God, your hands are all over me," Harry is whining now, leaning his head back to rest on Louis's shoulder. Louis is now sucking on Harry's exposed neck, helping him along with his orgasm and not making him beg for it because Harry's begged enough and he looks so pretty and well, Louis's tired, too. "Ah, ah, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come, daddy, daddy, ah!"

"Come for daddy, honey. C'mon, beautiful." Harry lets out the loudest moan he's ever heard himself achieve when he finally does come. Louis is amazed and hard and smiling at the boy unraveling in his hands.

Harry was sagging his body all the way down in tired shocks as three separate rounds of cum escaped him. And Louis kept jerking after each other.

"So nice. Such a pretty little dick," Louis smiles, finally just strolling his fingers around Harry's cock, feeling just how exhausted he was. "Such a pretty, pretty boy. So proper and lovely and pretty." He kisses Harry's head. "Did so well for daddy, again. Thank you, princess."

"Wait, daddy, don't you need help?" Louis kisses Harry's cheek now but shakes his head with a smile.

"I'll take care of it when I get home. Don't you worry, now, okay? I'm gonna clean you up and tuck you in for a nap." Harry smiles at Louis, and Louis is suddenly hit with the realization that he can't stay here any longer. "I actually have to go now," Louis whispers under his breath, and he quickly starts getting dressed.

"Louis, wait, stop." Louis doesn't stop, and Harry walks towards him, naked and weak, and Louis looks back at him and smiles gently. "Why do you have to leave so soon?"

"Practice," Louis lied. Harry frowns at him, naked and tired and really wanting to be cleaned and tucked in and kissed. "I'll see you soon?" Louis asks curiously, sliding into his sweatpants with a very painful hard-on.

"Yeah, yeah," Harry responds, a bit taken aback, "Bye, I guess."

Louis walks towards Harry and presses a kiss on his forehead. "Bye, princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so harry is into everything louis is doing to him but both are attracted to the idea that there's some resistence.


	3. denial

Louis spends the next few days convincing himself he isn't gay.

He spent nearly every day at his girlfriend’s house, cuddling and watching movies and fucking after school. It was fine. He would be with her and would feel absolutely nothing exciting. Maybe a little warm from being underneath the sheets while they fucked because she didn't want him to look at her naked. 

They'd talk about random stuff and Louis would get distracted and start thinking about Harry underneath him. The only way he came anymore was thinking about the way Harry moans his name. But he never admits that. 

And while Louis’s been trying to figure his dumb life out, Harry’s been sending him pictures and videos and texts every single day. Sometimes they're in the middle of the night, two in the morning or so, and Louis has started staying up just in case. Sometimes he’s about to go to bed and then his phone rings and it's Harry calling him, on the verge of orgasm, and wanting Louis's voice to get through the rest of it.

It's all so hard for Louis, too, because he’s not gay. He just likes having good sex and Harry gives him good, satisfying, incredible sex. 

And a boner in the class that they share when Harry dirty texts him about how big his cock is.

And an orgasm when he gets a little video of Harry touching himself with his tight briefs slipped to the side while he moans out Louis’s name. 

_And a really good visual when he has to have sex with Nadine and pretend that he likes it._

And now it's been eight days since the day they last touched each other and Louis’s smoking a cigarette on the roof of the school during lunchtime, listening to his favorite The Smiths album (Louder than Bombs, by the way), and trying so fucking hard to figure out his life as a quarterback that's intimate with a gay little track star.

He doesn't really know why he does it, but he decides to text Harry.

_can u come up to the roof? east wing_

Harry reads the message while he's eating lunch with Allie, Penelope, Niall and Chris. “Guys, I gotta go,” Harry says hastily, and everybody boos him immediately, “I’ll see you next block, Chris! Bye, babes!” He kisses the top of Allie and Penelope’s heads and smiles as he walks away. And when they can't see him anymore, the emotion quickly drains from his face as he rushes over to the east wing.

_omw i'll be there in 2_

Louis reads the message and feels a little nauseous, sucking on the filter of his cigarette like his life depends on it. In some sick and addictive way of making him less anxious about all this. Why the fuck did he text Harry anyway? What's he gonna do when he gets there? Fuck him against the fucking stone?

He shakes his head, deciding not to worry anymore. Not to think about it. Not until he’s here.

And just a few seconds later, Harry is standing a few meters away from him, and Louis can't breathe. “Hey,” Harry breathes out, sitting down next to Louis.

Louis looks beside him at Harry, who looks tiny and sweet and lovely and shit he feels so dizzy, and smiles tightly. He doesn't say a single word as he wraps his arm around Harry’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

He hands Harry an Airpod and Harry secretly smiles a little bit too much, leaning into Louis’s shoulder and listening to Asleep. “Didn't peg you as a Smiths fan,” Harry whispers, almost too quiet for Louis to hear.

“Yeah,” Louis says, chuckling a bit as he gets close to the end of his Red Label, “nobody really knows I like them.”

“I do,” Harry says softly. Louis smiles, nodding.

“I guess you do, huh?” He puts out his cigarette on the concrete next to him and flicks it off of the building, holding Harry tighter. “Sorry about this.”

Harry shakes his head, leaning closer and resting his head fully on Louis’s shoulder, “I like this. I feel… I feel safe.” Louis kisses the top of Harry’s head, as if to agree.

They sit there in silence for what feels to be hours. Harry’s murmuring along to lyrics and Louis’s smiling at it and it all feels so weirdly normal that Louis starts getting a little scared. 

"You know, we can do this sometimes, too. Just chill. Like friends,” Harry proposes, and Louis shakes his head. Harry immediately feels defeated.

"If my friends find out we’re friends, they're gonna realize that I’m Mystery Boy,” Louis sighs, and Harry joins him.

“I missed having you touch me,” Harry whispers it like it's almost a secret, and Louis can't help the little grin that forms on his lips.

“I missed touching you.” He turns Harry’s chin towards him, pressing a wet kiss onto his mouth and sitting back in despair and neediness. Harry returns the favor, kissing Louis again with just as much anguish. His eyebrows are frowned and his mouth works quickly to kiss Louis desperately and hard and God, he just wants to feel Louis’s hands all over him. 

They seperate, panting just a little bit, and Louis squeals out, “We can't do this.”

Harry frowns. “Can't do what?”

"We can't just … kiss. Only during sex. Not like this.”

"Why?” Harry asks, genuinely curious, his lips still brushing against Louis’s mockingly.

Louis gulps and responds. “Because someone might see us,” he lies, staring down between Harry's eyes and his beautiful little mouth and he wants to not let this go. He wants to hold onto it. Harry presses his lips quickly to Louis’, trying so hard to let that be it. All he wants right now is for Louis to kiss him. “Sorry, baby,” Louis whispers.

Harry nods, as if he knows and he understands and it's all okay even though it's not, and rests his head against Louis’ shoulder. “Can I bum a cig?” he asks, softly and tired, and Louis grabs his pack and holds it out to Harry, who grabs three and opens up his cigarette case (containing no cigarettes; just 3 joints) to place two of them away. 

Louis laughs when he sees it, and grabs one for himself too. He passes the lighter to Harry to light first (good manners, of course) and Harry near moans when he swallows a mouthful of nicotine. 

“Did you hear there's gonna be like a solar eclipse tonight?” Louis whispers, taking a quick drag from his cigarette. Harry looks at him while he talks, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah?” Harry responds, again genuinely curious (guess that's just a thing Louis does to him). Louis nods, smiling.

"Yeah. It's supposed to look incredible.” Louis’ not gonna tell Harry that he watches every single solar eclipse with his mom while drinking hot chocolate on their porch. 

"I’ll watch it, then,” Harry responds, quickly taking a smoke, “for you.”

Louis swallows his breath and smiles back at Harry hesitantly and uncomfortably. “Good. good. You're gonna love it.” He coughs, arm still tightly around Harry. “I’m really sorry, you know?”

Harry takes it for what it is: a sad and half-true apology to hide his sexuality. “Yeah, I know.”

Louis clenches his jaw, nearly reaching over to press a kiss to Harry’s head but stopping himself. “I can't be nice to you in the hallways,” Louis forces out, “Because I don't actually like you, okay?” 

Harry feels a bit of a sting, but he nods. “I know. It's fine.” And it is, but not really, and neither of them really know how that can be. 

It takes Louis to a new place; he has never minded being rude as much as this moment. And it's not the worst thing he's ever said, not even close, but that doesn't matter to him because it hurt Harry. And he's still holding the boy under his arm and he's afraid that if he lets go, he's never gonna get to touch him again.

“I have to go,” Louis says, quietly, after both of them finished their cigarettes. Harry looks down at his phone -- fifteen more minutes of lunch time. 

"We have like fifteen minutes,” Harry’s almost angry when he huffs it out.

Louis bites the inside of his cheek and nods, removing his arm from Harry. “I gotta meet up with Nadine and I still have to buy her a stupid fucking latte from the caf.” They both stand up, sighing. Louis tugs at the beanie sitting tightly on top of Harry's curls. They're always matted down by a hat or a little linen scarf when he's wearing it natural. Louis likes it best natural, nothing covering it up. He leans into Harry, pressing a kiss below his ear, right on his jaw line. “I’ll see you soon, love.”

And just like that, he’s sliding down the stairs back to the third floor and Harry's really fucking upset because there's no easy way to do any of this. His eyes feel heavy as he smokes another Red Label on the rooftop, now going right to the edge to dangle his feet off of the edge.

He can't help but watch the ground beneath him move. People with seperate lives from him. Whose problems are smaller or bigger than his. People who don't know he even exists. And it becomes a thought in his brain then: If I jump, what would really happen? 

Not in the suicide way -- Harry does not like suicides -- but in the way that's like… I am unafraid of death and believe we are all constantly in some kind of simulation so I’m gonna die to know the truth. 

Harry just wants to know what it feels like to feel more than used. 

Which is weird, because he likes being used. But everything becomes too much after a while.

Louis went home that day feeling like an asshole. And he feels even more like an asshole when he sees Harry hasn't sent him anything: no pictures, no texts, no videos. He doesn't even wanna think about how Harry feels right now.

But he had to set some ground rules, right? He can't just… he can't just let them be a real thing. Because that would make him gay. Or would make him at least a little gay and Louis knows, he fucking knows, that he's not gay. So, it makes sense. Everything he said makes sense. Now he just has to find a way to not give a shit.

And well, Louis is pretty good at that. 

He lets his Apple Music shuffle and sits in his bed, slowly fishing out homework for his Philosophy class. 

Real responsibilities are the only distraction plausible for emotion-fueled responsibilities. 

But then he gets a text message and he closes his binder and he turns his music off and he lays back in bed, waiting for it to be from Harry, and then he checks it and--

It’s Nadine.

_Our one year is in a week! Can't wait to celebrate together!!_

And he loves Nadine, really. He does. Kind of. She's just a lot. But he’ll put up with that for her. So, he texts back that he's excited, too, and then he goes back to his stupid homework. 

He's almost done with his Economics homework when he gets a call. He looks at his phone. Harry.

“Hey!” Louis says, breathless and for some reason much too excited. 

Harry kind of chuckles. “Hey, sorry for calling --”

“Don't be sorry, c’mon. What's up?” Louis’ acting like he didn't tell Harry he doesn't even like him about seven hours ago. 

“Just wondering if… maybe you wanted to come over? My parents are out on a date.” Louis thinks long and hard about what he's gonna say, which is why he answers within two seconds.

“Yeah, sure. I- I’ll be over in a few.” Harry secretly smiles and hangs up.

Now Louis is panicked. He needs to take a shower. A really fast shower to clean himself and to make his hair soft again instead of gelled over and to just feel better. He jumps in the shower, leaving a mess on his bed, and takes a dreaded head full of cold water. There's no other way. It's gonna take too long for the shower to get warm.

He gets out of the shower after five minutes and in the biggest rush of his life. He dries himself off and then he puts lotion on his legs and arms and he brings a condom despite Harry and him not having used one the first two times.

He runs downstairs with a backpack full of notebooks and binders and condoms and Louis’s favorite lube. His eyes quickly cross his mother’s, and she frowns, rubbing towards him as he tries desperately to escape via the door. “Baby, where are you going?”

“Just to Liam’s house, we’re studying for a Calc test. I’ll be back before midnight, okay?” Louis feels like he's getting away with this much more than he should. His mom looks him up and down; he's dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and no socks and wet hair and it becomes pretty clear he's definitely not going to a party. So she smiles, walks closer to him, and kisses his cheek.

“Take the Jeep! Your car’s low on gas!” Louis sighs but nods, grabbing the Jeep key off of the hook and running out of the door. He texts Harry a quick little status update and he's on his way.

And it's insane, but his ten minute drive to Harry’s house feels like the longest road trip he's ever taken. A cigarette waves out of the window despite it only being 30 degrees outside. A leather jacket is slouched across Louis’ shoulders in an attempt to keep him warm. He cannot stop thinking about Harry now.

It almost feels fake to him: caring so much about what you're about to do to someone. But he can't help it. Everything he does to Harry turns him on.

He has to start palming himself through his sweatpants because he was getting so fucking frustrated.

When he arrives at Harry’s house, he follows the same advice as last time and sneaks through the back, just in case. He goes all the way to the end -- where the door is open, by the way -- and he sees nothing. He inches in closer, growing curious, and he clutches his backpack straps in anticipation.

He doesn't say anything as he opens up Harry’s room. Harry’s sitting in the corner of the bed that is pressed completely against the wall, his naked back facing the walls. There's a laptop in front of him and airpods in his ears and there's a little moan escaping him as he slings his head backwards. He doesn't see Louis coming in. Or he pretends not to. And then Louis sees him stroking his cock hard and beautiful and Louis wants to faint. Instead, he stands just outside the door frame, pulling down his sweatpants, jerking off to Harry’s little moans and bed creaks. 

He wants to know what porn Harry watches. Maybe he should go look. But then he hears Harry get all high-pitched and breathy and he’s gonna come. And Louis knows it and Louis watches him and Harry’s so quiet that it's beautiful how good he is at staying quiet. And quickly, Harry comes all over his tummy, breathing up and down with sweat on his forehead. As Harry is stroking himself a few last times, Louis walks into the room with his cock heavy in his hands and his sweatpants thrown aside in the hallway.

Harry stares up and doesn't say anything, just starts to jerk off faster to Louis’ face and his cock and his thighs. He doesn't take his airpods out, just listens to someone moan in the background. Louis drops his backpack on the floor, stepping closer to Harry and smirking at his breathless face. 

Louis grabs one of the airpods out of Harry’s ear and puts it into his own. Harry is, surprisingly, blushing a lot, as Louis listens to what he was listening to: A gay BDSM video. Typical.

Louis sees Harry’s face grow redder and he feels like he wants to jerk off harder, quickly following his intuition. Harry’s looking at him like he just found some big secret and Louis wants to fuck his mouth more than he wants to be alive.

“Hey,” Harry says quietly, watching Louis approach him. Louis just sits on the bed, then, opposite Harry, and he just masturbates with him. Harry turns the screen, and Louis sees the beaten up little sub and he doesn't wanna hurt Harry _that_ much. 

So, he reaches over sneakily and rubs a hand over Harry’s thigh, and Harry looks at him with an inhale deep in his throat. Harry just wants Louis' dick in his mouth and maybe his fingers in his ass. Maybe at the same time. “You look pretty,” Louis whispers back after multiple minutes of silently staring at each other and jerking off and listening to a porno in the background.

"You look -- you look hot,” Harry whimpers back, throwing his head back. Louis stares at Harry with his mouth agape because he cannot believe at all that Harry is real and so close to him. Every time so far, the feeling’s come back. Whenever he sees him, everything becomes so insignificant. 

Louis whimpers when he feels Harry’s hand on the head of his dick, rolling his hips into his hands, feeling annoyingly submissive. Louis lets go of his dick, slowly bringing his hand to Harry’s dick from his thighs. Harry laugh-moans and Louis feels like the walls are caving in. His fingers feel curdled and weak, whimpering with a moan inside of his mouth. Harry's hands feel so tight around his penis and he can't stop flicking his hips into him.

“How long since you've touched yourself?” Harry whispers, staring at Louis’ lips and down to him fucking himself into Harry’s little hand. Louis stares back weakly at Harry.

"Few days,” Louis whimpers, “I’ve been so busy,” he closes his eyes and hangs his head backwards. 

"That's why you wanna be touched so bad.” Louis lets go of Harry’s dick, so overwhelmed with being touched properly after about three days of nothing. Harry crawls up to Louis, spreading his legs towards him while still jerking him off. He runs his hand across Louis’ thighs, pressing into his hip bones. breathing across his skin. “Let me take care of you tonight.” Harry breaths into Louis’ skin, across his hips, in between his thighs, and Louis can't help but press himself into his gorgeous mouth, nodding heavily.

“Yes, please, baby,” Louis moans so loud, feeling Harry’s mouth right by his balls and he really feels weird. He feels like he shouldn't like this so much, that Harry’s mouth doesn't feel like a warm day and that Harry’s fingertips don't remind him of lily pads. “Your pretty hands feel so good on me.”

“Do you want me to suck your cock for you?” Harry asks, teasing, looking deep in his eyes and Louis feels breathless and he wants to kiss him. Harry’s thumb plays over Louis’ slit and Louis arches his back while nodding at Harry's question.

“I would fucking love that,” Louis responds breathily. Harry smirks up and places his lips so they're just barely touching the side of Louis’ cock. Louis arches his back again, eyes shut tightly and body tense. 

And then Harry’s mouth is around his head and Louis feels like there's no other way to live. Harry’s cheeks perfectly surround his head, sucking eagerly and hotly. He bobs his head up and down, still just focusing on the head, and jerks Louis off with his hand. His tongue makes circles around the sensitive skin, smiling when he hears Louis whimper and buck his hips into Harry’s mouth weakly. 

Louis’ hands make their way to Harry's hair, intertwining inside of his curls. He pulls at them, bringing Harry’s mouth further down him and his toes curl. Harry’s taking about half of him now, sucking and jerking him off. His thighs feel so wonderfully tense. 

Harry takes his lips off, spitting obscenely on Louis’ cock and spreading it with his hands before licking the length slowly. Louis breathes shallowly, a heaviness inside of him. “Do you know how good that feels?” he moans, his fingernails pressing inside of Harry’s scalp. Harry giggles, and then slicks his mouth back around Louis’ hard cock. 

He moves faster now, consistently bobbing Louis’ head near the back of his throat. Louis tenses up, his tummy tight and his fingers crumpled and his breaths clear and desperate. “I’m close already, ah--” Louis curls his toes into his bedsheets and fucking his hips into Harry’s mouth as he feels himself almost come. He hears Harry gag, feeling his cock bend inside of Harry’s throat. Harry holds himself down onto the bed, Louis’ hands in his hair to push him down. 

Harry’s eyes start to water, feeling the tip in his throat and tasting Louis’ cock and his own spit. He registers that Louis is coming only when he feels Louis seize up and force him all the way down his cock. Thick, warm come covers Harry’s mouth and coats his throat as he forces his head up, so close to feeling like he's about to throw up. He sits up a bit, breathing heavy as there's come and spit trailing from his lips down to Louis’ dick and there's so much. 

Louis looks at Harry, breathless. He’s breathing heavy with a covered face and Louis wants to fuck his mouth again. Louis takes Harry’s jaw, forcing the boy to look at him. Harry glanced back, a sweet little smile on his dirty mouth. 

“You look gorgeous with my cum all over your mouth, princess,” Louis hisses, lightly slapping Harry’s cheeks. Harry turns red, licking his lips, Louis swipes his fingers over the cum-spit mixture. 

“Yeah? Do you like it when I look dirty? Like a slut?” Harry whimpers back to him, sitting himself up to meet Louis's eyes. Louis nods, letting Harry’s jaw go and kissing his dirty lips. They’re kissing, open mouthed and happy and Louis is licking all over him. 

“Baby, I love the way you look now,” Louis whispers into his mouth, pressing kisses against the corners. “You’re beautiful. You are so fucking pretty.” Harry smiles, feeling blissful and gorgeous. 

Louis’ hands trail down to Harry’s cock, throbbing and pained, and he squeezes with a grin on his face. “Daddy, daddy, please,” Harry whimpers, scooting himself into Louis’ lap, wiping the last bit of cum and spit from his mouth with the back of his hand. Louis jerks him off sloppily, tugging softly with a loopy smile. 

"Please, what, baby?” Louis quickly kissed Harry’s cheek, flicking his thumb over Harry’s head simultaneously, and Harry moans loud and clear, leaning deeper into his touch. 

“Let me ride you, please, please,” he whines, pressing his mouth right against Louis’ ear. Louis clears his throat, feeling himself get harder just thinking about Harry riding him. 

Louis doesn't think about much when he lets go of Harry’s dick and lays himself down on the bed with four pillows surrounding him. He doesn't think about much when he watches Harry sink down on his dick and he doesn't think about much when he’s grasping Harry by the hips. It all seems so beautiful. 

Harry’s grasping Louis’ shoulders, whimpering loud and pained. “Oh my God,” Harry drags out, wiggling his hips around slowly. Louis is looking up at him and he's almost nauseous with infatuation, digging his stubby fingernails into Harry’s skin. 

“Holy shit,” Louis moans, softly thrusting up into Harry to follow along with the rhythm of his movements. Harry appreciates it, moaning with every shift of his hips. “You’re so tight.”

“I haven't had anybody since you last week,” Harry whimpers, leaning forward now and moving his hips faster, kissing into Louis' shoulder. “You feel so good, daddy, fuck.”

Louis moans loud, holding Harry tighter and starting to push into him faster and harder. Harry moans in response, feeling so blissful and lovely and hot. “Yeah? That's why you're all nice and tight?” He mumbles, pressing a kiss to Harry's neck. 

Harry squeals, nodding and sitting up on Louis’ dick again, leaning back a bit and riding him hard. “Ah, ah! Yes, yes, daddy.” Louis bites down on his lip and thrusts up into Harry to meet his little hip movements. Harry’s hard dick is resting on his tummy, leaking and already wanting release. “You’re gonna make me cum already, Jesus Christ.”

“Can you hold it in, princess?” Louis asks, staring up at Harry who is sweaty and gorgeous and looking beautiful on top of him. He whimpers but nods back at Louis, pressing his hands onto Louis’ stomach. “Good boy.”

“Fuck,” Harry whimpers, arching his back and sinking down on Louis while softly rubbing at his nipples. He’s feeling so much right now and all of it is LouisLouisLouisLouis. “Fuck, fuck, I wanna come, I wanna come,” he feels his tummy churn, his face scrunching and his neck tightening. His thighs are tired from the movement but somehow he still keeps moving while he feels Louis’ tip on his prostate and it's making him shake and it's making him fucking crazy. 

“Wait for me, baby, just a little bit,” Louis mumbles, taking one of Harry’s hands while he's pounding into him and kissing it gently. Harry’s cock twitches, and he's so tired and so done and he just wants to come all over Louis. 

“I can't, fuck, fuck, you feel so good, fuck!” Harry rotates his hips, and Louis hits him right in that spot, and then Harry’s riding Louis into his orgasm, coming untouched over Louis’ chest with a loud moan of his name and a wiggle of his hips. His body’s tired, heartbeat loud and euphoric. “Ah, fuck, fuck, I’m sorry,” Harry whimpers, still weakly bouncing along to Louis’ hip thrusts as he grabs his dick and jerks all of his cum out.

Louis smiles, staring up at Harry looking so hot and bothered, and he grips for Harry’s waist, holding him tight. “It’s alright, baby.” And then he slams into him faster than before, harder, and Harry’s moans echo through the room loud and needy. Louis’ sitting up now, holding him in his arms and fucking into him like it's the only thing he was made for. 

“Louis-- ah- Louis! Fuck, holy shit, yeah, fuck me. Fuck me harder, come on,” Harry moans it all into Louis’ quivering mouth, pressing their lips together tight as Louis gets closer and closer to releasing. 

“Fuck,” Louis mumbles against his lips, feeling his stomach cave in and his muscles tense. “Gonna come, baby, m’gonna come.” Louis kisses Harry in between his words, hands all over him and his lower body still somehow having enough control to keep fucking Harry. “Harry, God, shit!” 

He moans loud and hard once, feeling Harry grinding his hips down onto his cock and feeling his lips against his own, before coming inside of Harry with a grunt. He breathes heavy, the heat against his cock feeling overwhelming and incredible at the same time. Harry, as if reading his mind, carefully lifts himself off of Louis’ cock and rolls off of him, landing right on his tummy. Louis’ breathing heavy, staring at Harry staring at him and then they both smile, chuckling at nothing at all but understanding exactly how it all feels.

And Louis wants to do more. He wants to do everything to Harry. But he's so tired.

“You're so pretty,” Louis whispers, rolling to his side to face Harry, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I love the face you make when you cum.”

"Yeah?” Harry giggles, and Louis nods, ruffling his hair a bit. Harry turns to him, as well, holding kisses against Louis’ neck and wrapping an arm around his waist. “I love that you already know exactly what I like,” he whispers then, kisses against Louis' neck turning into kisses on his shoulders. He sucks a light spot on his collarbone, and Louis can't even be bothered enough to be mad. He'd let Harry mark his entire body if it weren't for fucking Nadine.

“I like it when you give me hickeys like that,” Louis smiles into Harry’s hair, and Harry looks up with a curious smirk. He trails down to Louis’ chest, where he leaves another. And another. “Not too many, doll, I’m sorry.”

"I know, just giving you a tease,” Harry smiles against Louis’ nipple, biting the nub teasingly as Louis flinches, slapping Harry lightly with a smile bright on his face. 

And then Harry climbs on top of Louis again, and Louis smiles at his attempt at dominance, pinning Louis’ arms above him. He trails his lips down Louis’ ear to his neck, and Louis can't deny the shivers that wander across his body.

“Do you think of me when you're fucking Nadine?”

His voice is low and seductive and intentional and Louis has forgotten how to breathe, eyes slightly widening as he tries to stop himself from saying anything.

It's one thing to have sex with someone, it's another when you're thinking about them when you're not having sex with them. Especially when that person is a guy and you're straight. 

"C’mon, Harry,” Louis mumbles, slightly uncomfortable with having to face this stupid fucking reality. 

Harry grips his fingertips deeper into the skin of Louis’ wrist. “Do you wish you were fucking me when you fuck her?” He licks over Louis’ neck and Louis whimpers, body quivering and eyes closed. 

Louis feels his cock rising again, and he silently curses himself out.

“About my cock?” As if to prove a point, Harry hovers above Louis and dips his cock against his own, making Louis moan abruptly and loud and Harry grins.

“Fuck,” Louis whines, his body feeling close to limp.

“Or do you like thinking about my tight little hole better?” Harry takes one of Louis’ hands and brings it over to his ass. He presses one of Louis’ fingers against the tight muscle that's wet from Louis’ cum, and Louis feels like he's kind of going crazy. 

He can't even think of anything to say, just letting his body be Harry’s little playground.

“Do you wish you were fucking me whenever you fuck her, daddy?”

Louis growls a little before weakly moaning when Harry flicks his finger at the head of his hardened cock. “Yes, princess, yes, yes, I do.”

“Hmm,” Harry smiles into Louis’ neck, kissing him there again. He's satisfied and buzzed and he feels like he controls every pawn in the game right now. “I wish you could fuck me every day. I’d let my asshole get fucking destroyed if it was for you.” Louis loses his breath when he feels Harry’s little hand wrap around his shaft. “Aw, you're hard again,” Harry coos, and Louis whimpers at the touch.

“So are you, baby,” Louis bites back, fighting loosely for control of one hand to wrap around Harry’s dick, immediately proving him right. Harry lets out a tight moan when Louis tugs in his dick, and Louis smiles. In one swift motion, he turns them over so he's now hovering on top of Harry, pressing kisses to his neck almost instantly. “Don't forget daddy’s in charge, sweetheart.” He sucks a kiss against Harry’s neck while jerking the younger boy off, a bolt of electricity crawling through him.

“O- okay, daddy. You're in charge, I’m sorry,” Harry whimpers, arching his back as Louis’ hand pumps his sensitive cock. “Ah, ah, shit!” 

“Where are your parents out to?” Louis asks coarsely, lips centered around Harry’s jaw now. Harry lets out a tight moan as he tries to answer.

“Delias, ah, fuck! It’s -- it's downtown,” he whines it out as his cock starts leaking pre-cum.

“Enough time to fuck you again?” Louis asks, his voice sounding nearly manic. Harry moans at just the thought, and he nods his head. Truthfully, he's got no idea.

Delias is twenty minutes away and he's been alone at home for about an hour. They'll be good for another forty minutes or so, he guesses. He also just really wants Louis to fuck him again. So maybe that's factoring into his decision making.

And just like that, Louis lines himself up with Harry’s hole again, and Harry lazily wraps his legs around Louis’ waist, arms following at his nape. He squeezes his eyes shut when he feels Louis’ length enter him, and it's all so sensitive and so real. He can't help but dig his fingernails into the top of his shoulders, mouth gaping wide.

“Fuck, fuck, ah! Daddy, fuck me harder! C'mon, please, please, harder,” Harry moans it out sloppily, like his words are intertwining strings that he can't untangle because he doesn't fucking want to. But Louis understands, bucking his hips tightly into Harry, pressing his lips to his open mouth. The vibrations from Harry’s moans hit inside of Louis’ mouth, and Louis swears this is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

“You're so gorgeous, princess, so gorgeous. Fuck, you're gonna make daddy come, baby, so good.” Louis squints his eyes, grunting heavy as he sucks on Harry’s neck, leaving a dark purple mark. Harry’s not even the slightest bit concerned about it. 

"Daddy, daddy, I’m gonna cum, too, I’m gonna cum,” Harry grips his dick in between them and tugs at it hard and fast. He lets out a final victorious moan before squirting all over his chest, whimpering from the sensitivity of both his cock and his prostate. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

"Do you like it when daddy fucks you hard like this, baby? You like it when daddy’s all rough with you?” Harry nods, rubbing his fingernails from Louis’ back to his shoulders, still relishing in feeling Louis’ thick cock inside of him. “Say it, bitch, tell me.”

"I love it when -- when you fuck me like I’m your little bitch, daddy,” Harry whimpers, and he almost can't hear himself speak through the sound of Louis moaning in release. He comes inside of Harry again, and Harry swears he's going to faint. 

Louis takes his cock out of Harry, breathing heavy and dark. He sticks two fingers inside of his dripping hole, making Harry moan again, and leads them slowly to Harry’s mouth. He doesn't hesitate to grab Louis’ arm and bring his fingers into his mouth, sucking while staring at Louis.

“You look so pretty like that, doll. Are you my pretty little baby?”

Harry mumbles out an agreement against Louis’ fingers. 

And then Louis’ phone rings with the only person he has a custom ringtone for -- Nadine.

He stares at Harry and then at his phone on the floor and back at Harry. He really just wants to let it go. He just wants it to stop ringing. Fucking Ribs by Lorde playing is kind of a vibe killer. Harry takes Louis’ fingers out his mouth. “Is it Nadine?” Louis nods. “Pick up.”

Louis reaches for his phone and picks up, quickly getting up to face his back to Harry. “Hey, babe!” He beams, trying his best to sound excited.

Harry crawls up behind him and places his legs on either side of his frame, dick pressing against the small of his back. Louis holds in a gasp. “Hey, I just went to your house to hang and your mom said you were at Liam’s but I’m at Liam’s now and you're not here, either. Where are you?”

Louis’ eyes widen for several reasons. One: Shit. She knows I’m not at Liam’s. Two: one of Harry’s hands is placed securely on his left thigh, and the other is rubbing against his nipple. 

Shit. “I’m at the diner! I’m just working on my short story for English.” Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. She’s gonna know. And Harry’s now thumbing over his cock and Louis feels like he's already losing.

“Why did you tell your mom you were headed to Liam’s?” Her tone is suspicious and he swears he hears Liam laugh in the background.

“Don't laugh?” Louis says, in an attempt to buy himself more time to come up with an excuse.

"Cross my heart and hope to die,” Nadine chuckles, and Louis almost moans when Harry’s tongue slides across his neck and his hand works slowly at his already wet and extremely sensitive dick. 

"Okay, okay, I went to the diner for a second dinner and she said she wanted me to lose weight so I didn't say anything because I was embarrassed.” It spills out quickly so that Louis can take the time it’ll take her to react to mute his microphone and lean into Harry’s touch. He immediately moans, placing his phone on speaker next to them with the microphone off. “You're killing me,” Louis mumbles, staring down at Harry’s skillful hands working his cock.

"She wanted you to lose weight? Seriously? That's so bitchy of her, Jesus, sometimes I really don't like your mom,” Nadine scoffs, and he hears her fumbling for something in the background, “I’ll head to the diner now, okay? See you in twenty. Might hang with Liam a bit.” 

Louis moans one more time before unmuting his mic, in mild panic. “Yeah, thanks babe, I’ll see you soon. Love you.” And he hangs up. Immediately after, he turns all attention to Harry, leaning his entire body back against his. “Fuck you, Styles, fuck. you.”

“You've already done that twice tonight, babe,” Harry mocks, and Louis chuckles sourly while Harry kisses his neck and jerks his cock slowly. Agonizingly slow. 

"You're really fucking good with your hands, you asshole. Oh my God.” Harry grins, biting on Louis’ ear lobe. Louis moans, fucking himself into Harry’s hand. “I can't believe I have to go see my fucking girlfriend,” Louis complains, and Harry chuckles, his breath hot against Louis’ neck. 

"I’ll just make you cum one more time, daddy,” Harry whispers, feeling the goosebumps reach Louis’ entire body.


	4. the school bathroom

Harry woke up to a pounding headache and a shouting mother in his door frame, slamming the wood in an attempt to get him to wake up.

_ Why the fuck did you get drunk on a Thursday, dumbass? _

“I’m up, I’m up,” he murmurs into his pillow, obviously not up, and he stretches his body out long. 

“Harold, get  _ up _ ! You have to take the bus today, daddy’s out with your car,” Anne sighs, pulling loosely at Harry’s arm and waiting for him to fully awaken. Once his eyes open and he turns around to face her, squinting, she quietly starts to leave the room. “I made you breakfast, hon.”

Hearing that he has to ride the  _ fucking  _ bus is making him feel nauseated. It means he has to leave his house ten minutes earlier  _ and  _ he can't sing along to Charli XCX for twenty minutes on his way to school. Boner killer.

He gets up and regrets his quick movement immediately, head spinning. He walks over to his closet, grabbing a pair of straight leg jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie and throwing them on quickly. He brushes his teeth in the bathroom, puts some deodorant on, ruffles with his hair, and quickly runs back to his room. 

“If I can't drive, might as well get stoned,” he mumbles to himself, grabbing his little elephant-shaped pipe, lighter and the weed he ground up two days ago left in his drawer. He closes the door to his room, shoves a towel underneath and opens all of his windows. Harry glances at the clock, finding himself with fifteen more minutes. He can do fifteen more minutes. 

He packs the bowl twice, smoking with an incense burning in the background to cover up the smell. By the end of it all, there's a shaky rush to his feet and his head feels maybe 50% better than it did when he woke up. Still a win. 

After sloppily tapping the leftover bud from the bowl, he puts the pipe back in his little box and giggles. Things are good.

He, somehow unbeknownst to him, makes his way downstairs and he eats the breakfast his mom made. Pancakes. He has five in about ten minutes, and then his mom waltzes into the dining room with some absurdly pretty dress on and clicks her tongue, sighing. “You can't get high before school, Harry, Jesus,” she comes closer and smells him, “You need to spray yourself down, this isn't gonna work.”

“Chill, mom, I’ll take off the sweatshirt.” And he does, throwing it over his head with much ado, before walking over to the pantry and grabbing three nature valley bars. “I love you, I’ll see you tonight!” He can't deny that he sees the disappointed look in her eyes when he closes the door.

He passes through the hallways feeling slightly lightheaded, smiling with Niall and Chris by his side. “So, Haz, have you heard?” Niall starts, opening up the can of red bull he just bought from the cafeteria.

Harry frowns, shaking his head. “Have I heard what?”

“That guy Liam Payne, the hot jock? On the football--”

“I know who Liam is, Chris,” Harry sighed, and Chris laughed.

“He beat Louis Tomlinson up. They're, like, best friends. Nobody knows why but everybody thinks Louis fucked Liam’s girlfriend,” Chris rambles, approaching Harry’s locker and still standing with him. Harry laughs a bit, he can't keep it in, and Niall and Chris immediately frown at him. 

Just then, Harry remembers that he's supposed to not be having sex with Louis and he straightened himself up. “Sorry, weed.” Niall chuckles, Harry’s glad it worked. “Is he that fucked up?” 

“He's supposed to be bruised pretty bad. Someone said his leg was broken but I’m not sure I believe it,” Chris shrugged, watching Harry slowly grab his books from his locker. Niall slurps down on his sugary energy drink and then he turns around to face the hallway, his eyes widening.

“Shit, there he is,” Niall whispers, nudging Harry, who immediately whips around. 

Louis is walking on crutches. He has a black eye and his nose is a dark shade of purple, some dried blood surrounding his nostrils that he can't be bothered to clean up anymore. “The fuck are you looking at?” He snares at a couple of girls standing at the beginning of the hallway, slowly making his way to where the three boys are standing.

Harry’s kind of in shock. What the fuck could he have done that made Liam hurt him like that? He stares at Louis with sad eyes and catches a glimpse of sadness back. 

In a state of  _ fuck it _ , Harry closes his locker and catches up with Louis just in front of him. Niall and Chris both stare at each other, completely bewildered. “Louis, wait!”

Louis does not wait.

“Harold, don't,” Louis warns, and Harry tsks, ignoring him and walking right by his side.

Everybody stares at them. The fag and the beat-up quarterback. “Are you okay?” Harry whispers, finding a weird sense of anger towards Liam. 

“Yeah, dandy, please just leave me alone. I don't want to be seen with you,” Louis grits through his teeth, trying very hard to ignore Harry. But he makes it so hard when he looks like he actually cares.

And it hurts Harry, it does, but he pretends like he didn't even hear him. “Can we go outside for a second?” Harry asks, just as the bell rings, and Louis shakes his head, continuing to crutch over to his Economy class. “Lou, come on.”

“Don't fucking call me  _ Lou _ , Styles. Just get out of my way!” 

Harry stuffs his fists inside of his pockets and frowns, watching people around them stop walking to watch the two boys. He huffs, staring at Louis’ back as he approaches his classroom. 

And it's weird, but Harry really wants to be fucked by Louis right now. Angrily. For approaching him. For calling him Lou. But instead, he's left feeling angered and stoned and lost.

Harry walks back to Chris and Niall, who waited for Harry by his locker because their first classes are near there anyway, with questioning frowns on their faces. “Why were you being nice to him?” Niall asks, Red Bull no longer in hand.

“Just wanted to know why Liam beat him up,” Harry shrugged, “Didn't get anything, though.” Chris smiles weakly, prancing to the door right next to Harry’s locker and waving a quick goodbye before stepping inside. Harry follows Niall to their classroom, feeling like he wants to stay hidden forever, and he takes his seat in the back of the room.

His phone buzzes in his pocket.

_ i'm sorry just in a shit mood _

_ i didn't fuck his gf _

__ Harry smiles a little, lulling his head back and letting out a small sigh. 

_ is ur leg broken? _

Harry stares ahead at the teacher and can suddenly  _ really  _ feel his teeth in his gums and he almost laughs about it, but he can't. 

_ nah sprained ankle _

_ why the question pumpkin _

__ Harry smiles, knowing perfectly well that Louis knows why he asked the question. A sprained ankle is something he could work with.

_ ;) _

He giggles in his head at his own message.

_ i see _

_ tonight at 10? i've got practice _

__ He flips through his mental calendar to see if anything wouldn't add up for him. It's Friday. Chris and Niall usually sleep over Fridays, but he could tell then to not come. That's not a problem at all.

_ tonight at 10 it is _

_ gonna ride you again :) can't do much with a sprained ankle, right? :) _

Louis shifts in his seat in Economy class and smiles uncomfortably. The thought of Harry riding his dick right now is unbelievably hot. He doesn't even want to stop imagining it, but for the sake of Zayn sitting right next to him, he has to. He  _ has  _ to.

_ cheeky lad _

_ can't get me all excited like that in class grrr _

_ you'll pay for it :) _

“Who’re you talking to?” Zayn asks Louis, leaning in to take a look at Louis’ phone. Louis turns his phone off immediately, trying so hard to act casual. He shifts around, a small smile on his face as he gets ready to answer Zayn.

“Nadine,” he mumbles, blushing. Zayn cocks an eyebrow up, punching lightly into Louis’ arm, and Louis flinches immediately, before smiling. 

It takes ten minutes for Louis to feel comfortable enough to open his phone again.

_ but i'm so pretty :( _

_ took this for u last night but never sent it _

_ [image] _

__ Louis does not hesitate to stuff his phone in his letterman jacket and crutch over to the bathroom across the hall. He’s anxious that Zayn saw and he's anxious that people know and he's anxious that he can't fucking touch Harry right now.

He plops down on the seat in the big stall, quickly taking his phone out. There's other people in the stalls, so he can't get off, but he can still look at the picture, right? In depth.

The picture shocks him just as much this time as it did the first time he saw it in class. It’s Harry’s pretty ass perked up in the air, a metal buttplug with a pink rhinestone at the end stuffed inside of him. His cock peaks through from the other side of his body and Louis gulps. He gulps because he wants to touch Harry slowly and eagerly and he wants to tell him that he looks so wonderful. 

_ you can't just send me stuff like that in class baby _

_ now you've got me all worked up _

__ Harry thinks long and hard about the message he's about to send, but he does it anyway. 

_ you in the bathroom? _

__ re:  _ yeah, why? _

__ Louis hears the door open to the bathroom and he swears his eyes are about to pop out of their socket. His claustrophobia had always been mad at the school for making the stalls in the West Wing fully enclosed after the Spying Incident of 2010, but his cock right now is so fucking thankful for it.

He carefully gets up, limping on his one good foot, and he cracks the door to the stall open, revealing a smirking little Harry Styles on the other side. Louis looks around, quickly pulling him inside before locking the door again. He sits down on the seat and Harry sits right on top of him. He grinds carefully against him, pressing quiet kisses against his mouth. “Hey, Lou.”

Harry bats his eyelashes and Louis wants to explode. “Do you like bothering me in school?” Louis whispers into Harry’s ear, biting his earlobe with a grin on his face. 

“Quite a bit, yeah,” Harry smirks, lingering his mouth on Louis’, “You like being bothered in school.”

Louis pauses, staring at Harry’s lips and at his eyes and back again, “Quite a bit,” he whispers back, reconnecting their lips again. He hears the toilet next to them flush and get up and Harry almost giggles, his hand firmly on his mouth to make sure he doesn't. Louis smiles at him and Harry tries his best to not look at Louis’ broken nose.

Harry climbs off of him, listening to the boy that was previously next to them walk off into the hallway, closing the door with a slam. He sits on the  _ dirty  _ floor right in front of Louis, smirking up at him. Louis feels like everything is kind of insane right now and that's why he lets Harry glide his sweatpants down and start to jerk him off. “Babe,” Louis whimpers quietly, his nose hurting from all the scrunching his face is performing.

“Can I make you come real quick?” Harry whispers into Louis’ thighs, pressing sucking kisses on the skin. Louis nods, tangling one of his hands inside of Harry’s curls, slowly throwing his head back. 

Harry hesitates, breathing on Louis’ hard cock, before dipping his head down to bob up and down. Louis slams his fist to the side of the wall, bucking his hips into Harry’s mouth with a  _ lot  _ of pain. “Jesus,” Louis whispers, squeezing his pained eyes shut. He tries not to care too much.

“Daddy, you have to be quiet,” Harry whispers onto Louis’ hard dick. Louis tenses up, nodding. He smiles, mouth hanging open as he feels Harry’s pretty mouth work him down. Harry's tongue strolls over his length, sucking softly on his way up. Louis whimpers, biting his slightly swollen lip in anguish.

“You're so good at that, baby,” Harry innocently glances up, stroking him up and down quickly while sucking on his head. Louis chuckles, leaning back on the seat uncomfortably. His thighs tremble, and Harry notices immediately. His hand pumps faster, his cheeks hollowing in deeper and creating a comfortable warmth around him. “Yeah, yeah,” Louis whines, pushing his hips into his mouth. He hears Harry start to gag, and suddenly he doesn't care about what anything is. He doesn't care if there's people in here, he needs to listen to Harry choke on his dick and he needs to listen to Harry laugh-moan. He thrusts his hips into Harry’s mouth as he gets closer to his orgasm, his mouth open wide with little throat sounds escaping.

Harry holds his ground only by slamming his hands against the walls, gagging excessively on cum and spit and Louis is shaking and whimpering as he comes inside of his mouth. Harry’s taking his lips off of him, taking a deep breath before sucking on his head, sticky and wet. “Holy fuck, holy fuck,” Louis cries, still coming as Harry laugh-moans, hands back on Louis’ cock as Louis sits back down again. 

Harry hears the door from the hallway open, staring with wide eyes at Louis. Louis stares back, just as scared, both of them breathing heavy. 

Harry licks up Louis’ dick sneakily, and Louis is frozen, terrified in place, still staring at Harry in shock. 

Unnamed boy takes the first stall, and Louis sighs, placing a hand in Harry's hair to tug him up to meet his eyes. 

“Da-” Louis wraps a hand around Harry's mouth as he starts to talk, shaking his head. He stares at Harry’s boner in his sweatpants and he grins, lifting his boy to his lap.

The unnamed boy starts to poop.

Cool. True. Love this.

Harry can't help but giggle, and Louis shushes him again, keeping his own giggle secret.

Louis reaches quickly for Harry’s erection, stroking it through the fabric. Harry leans into Louis’ shoulder and shivers, biting his clothes to keep himself quiet. 

Louis sneaks his hand under, jerking him off hard and fast and sloppy, grinning. The sound is obvious. God, the sound is so obvious. But neither of them really care. Because they're in a school bathroom and they're both having fun and it's all so  _ hot _ that Louis starts to feel his dick rise again, cursing under his breath. 

“More,” Harry whispers angstily into Louis’ ear, a whimper following. Louis nods, leading his finger back until they rest on Harry's balls. He squeezes them lightly l, playing with them gently while getting him off hard and gorgeous. “Ah, ah,” Harry moans, slapping a hand in front of his mouth.

“Hello?!” Unnamed boy says, unannounced. Harry stops dead in his tracks while Louis keeps fondling him, much slower now, making Harry damn near cry. “What the fuck is going on in there?!”

Louis widens his eyes more, mouthing “No, no, I can't, you're gay! I'm not gay!” in an unspecified order before Harry cleared his throat and went, “S-sorry!”

“Are you… are you fucking a chick in there? What the fuck?” Harry throws his eyes to the back of his head, grinding into Louis’ hands.

He doesn't respond to the boy, just minimizing all sound by going  _ painfully  _ slow, wrapping his arms around Louis. He’s whining as his hips pump along with Louis’ hand, pressing small kisses to Louis’ neck. “I’m gonna come,” Harry whispers directly into Louis’ ear, one hand on his cheek pressing him closer as they move together 

Louis places one hand gently on Harry’s stomach, holding him in place on his lap as he keeps pumping his hand to help the boy. Harry’s back arches, his feet cramp up as he stiffens lightly. Strangled noises escape him, and Louis smiles at it all. Louis smiles as Harry comes on his own sweatpants. 

The guy flushed his toilet. Harry kisses Louis loud and open when the flush is going on, and Louis is fucking thankful for it.

Until the guy knocked on their stall door. “I’m gonna call the principal down here!” Harry whimpers through his orgasm, and Louis stares at his body getting weaker and weaker like it's the only thing he could ever do. 

“Please don't! I- I’ll give you a blowjob! Please, just don't, please?” Harry whines out, feeling so incredibly blessed out. Part of him does not care if the administration comes down. He knows Louis would. The boy outside of the door scoffs, walking away from their stall. 

“You're lucky I don't tell anyone. I don't want a blowjob from a guy, Styles.” Harry sighs, knowing that this fucking asshole knows it was him, and Louis mouths a  _ sorry _ , insincere and useless. He is going to, in fact, tell other people. Whatever.

The door shuts, hard and cold, and Harry finally lets out a suppressed moan, his hips automatically grinding against Louis’ hand. “You been practicing with your hands?” Harry asks, a mere breathy whisper in Louis’ ear, smiling. Louis nods, pressing a kiss against Harry’s cheek.

“Yeah, for you,” and Louis runs his hands over Harry’s tummy, sneaking underneath the fabric and breathing against his neck, “I wanna touch you every day.” He presses his tongue against Harry’s neck and smiles, sucking a dark hickey on his neck. Harry leans into his touch, whimpering as he pulls his underwear back up. 

“We’ve been gone so long,” Harry whispers, disappointed, as he leans in to kiss Louis again. Louis pouts, Harry smiles. “I need to -- to go to the nurse and get new pants,” he mumbles, staring down at his cum-stained pants. Louis smiles, kissing his cheek and slightly pinching his sides to make him get up. 

“I need to get back to class,” Louis mumbles back, pulling his pants up and grabbing his crutches. He stands up after Harry, both of them now standing in the big stall, tired and flushed and sweaty. Harry smiles and takes one step forward, pressing a desperate kiss onto Louis’ lips, sucking and biting his lips, and Louis just melts into it. He wants to stay in this fucking bathroom forever. 

“You first,” Harry whispers, unlocking the door for Louis and watching as he walks out and heads to the sink to wash his hands. 

Louis washes his hands for nearly an entire minute, then he runs his wet hands across certain parts of his sweaters that are wet from Harry’s hot breath. He slicks his hair back. He'd rather have people think he has to go freshen up then that he just had sex in the bathroom. 

Louis smiles as he clears his throat, walking from the bathroom back into the hallway. He looks glossy-eyed and excited, his body sweaty and his face red. 

“Oh, look, Mr. Tomlinson decided to join us again,” Ms. Cooper said with an annoyed smirk on her face and Louis sighs, staring around the room. He spots Zayn in the back posing with a grin, and he  _ knows  _ how obvious it is as he starts to head for his seat and the people in the front start to snicker.

“Nice, Lou,” Zayn giggles, slapping Louis’ arm gently. Louis sighs, nodding before sitting down and whipping his hair to the side. “Nadine wanted you that bad?”

“Yeah,” Louis chuckles, “she's great like that.”

Louis gets another text with only about ten minutes left in class, and he has to swallow his excited breath before opening the message on the right side of his seat. 

_ i like that you like this _

_ feels like you'll try anything  _

_ will u? _

Louis grins to himself, quickly typing back.

_ most things babe _

_ i won't like… change your diapers or anything _

__ Harry chuckles out loud in the middle of woodwork class, and Mr. Camel gives him a stern look before getting back on his own phone. 

_ shit! what am i supposed to do now :/ _

__ Louis smiles to himself, hearing Ms. Cooper starting to wrap up her lesson. 

_ no more sex :/ _

_ nice to know ya _

__ Harry sends back three frown emojis and Louis sends back a flamingo and then Harry knows that it's all so much simpler than this.

Louis texts Harry later that night that he can't make it to his house today. Face hurts too much. Harry decides that's okay, because what else can he do?


	5. shower confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When I what?” Louis asks, gritted teeth.
> 
> “Louis, Jesus, we just had sex. You're not… you're not straight and that's okay, you know?”
> 
> Louis chuckles, and he fights Harry's hand away from his own, picking his underwear, sweats and shirt up from the floor and heading back into the bathroom.
> 
> He locks the door and sits down in his towel against the wall, sigh escaping his lips with a little cry threatening to come out. He's not gay. He's not. He doesn't fuck Harry because Harry’s a guy.

Harry’s glad Louis cancelled, really, because whoever the fuck was in the bathroom with them has told nearly everybody, it seems, and Harry’s Twitter responses are all  _ fag  _ and  _ public fag  _ and  _ pee fag _ (which, okay, low blow, not very funny any way).

The worst part? Louis has not said a thing to him about it. There's no doubt in Harry’s mind that he’s heard it, so why the fuck hasn’t he said anything? An apology, maybe a little message that says he's not gonna spread it any further, even some kinda dumb cheeky message would do. It’d imply guilt. And right now, Harry is almost completely certain that Louis has none.

Louis is sitting alone in his room trying to get his head straight so he can plan his anniversary with Nadine in three days.

A whole year. That's a big deal, right?

He always thought it would be, but now it's here and it's so annoying because all Louis wants to do is think about how guilty he feels for ditching Harry. And for making himself feel ridiculous at school  _ again _ . 

He just wants to eat a pizza with her on the couch and watch  _ America's Next Top Model _ (Cycle 21; the one with Keith Carlos, obviously) and get each other off,  _ maybe _ . And even that seems like it's too much effort to plan.

She's gonna be expecting a fucking romantic gift and a romantic drive and a romantic dinner, but Louis just can't fake shit like that. It's hard to be romantic when it doesn't really mean anything. But he figures it'll be okay. And he just figures he’ll get them a couple of train tickets and they’ll go see some indie movie in a Manchester drive-in theatre and it'll be nice and sweet. And then Louis will have to fuck her when they get back to his house, and he just kinda has to accept that. 

Meanwhile, Harry’s disappointed and at Niall’s house with Chris and they're watching  _ The Truman Show  _ and Harry is so fucking upset. But he can't talk to anyone but Louis about it, and Louis would no doubt think it was a fucking bother. They’d been fooling around for nearly a month now, and Harry thought it was serious enough to warrant some feelings. Apparently Louis thought differently, and Harry was just supposed to accept that.

_ The Truman Show  _ is one of Harry’s least favorite films ever. It scares the fuck out of him every single time, and he doesn't want to watch it ever again, but he always ends up watching it again. Because it's a beautiful and smart film, but it just makes him think  _ so much _ . And he doesn't wanna think at all. He wants some dumb, bullshit movie like  _ Dumb and Dumber  _ and laugh to forget about his problems. Instead he's drinking a beer and contemplating how real his relationships are.

And as if his prayers got answered, Chris pauses the movie about half way in and bursts, “Guys, what the fuck are we doing?” 

He stands up and walks around the room slowly, and Niall and Harry exchange curious glances. “Why are we watching this fucking movie  _ again _ ? Harry knows the whole beginning monologue by heart and swears he hates it every time, I have seen it so many times that I’m starting to notice  _ producer mistakes _ and Niall… well… you've watched it before, right?” Niall nods, thumbs up.

“What else do you suggest?” Niall asks, leaning forward on the couch and watching Chris take a seat in front of him on the floor.

He looks like he's thinking real hard and then just as he's about to open his mouth to start talking, Harry’s phone rings. Assuming it's his mother, he picks up without glancing, and he hears Louis’ breathy voice whisper, “Hey,” on the other line and his eyes widen immediately.

“Uh -- guys, I gotta take this. Chris, whatever you wanna do, I’m good to go.” Harry sticks his thumbs up and gets up from the couch in the living room to walk backwards into Niall’s room. He closes the door. “Louis,” he whispers, almost afraid that it isn't real, and Louis chuckles.

“Hey,” Louis hums, pencil and notebook on his belly. “Listen, I’m sorry to call you like this. I just -- I don't know, can't stop thinking about you and y’know, just wanted to know how you're doing.” He bites nervously at the hangnail on his thumb, and flinches when it almost breaks away from the skin. 

“Mhmm… how I’m doing?” Harry grins, laying himself back on Niall’s bed. “You mean what I’m wearing?” He hears Louis cackle on the other line, and he smiles back knowing he knows it was just a joke. 

“I’m good, Lou, I’m good. Sorry your face hurts,” Harry chuckles out dryly, resting a hand flat on top of his chest.  _ You shouldn't be apologizing. He should apologize.  _

Louis twists to his side, pencil and notebook falling with him. “That's not your fault, now is it, baby?” Harry feels a tingle in his stomach and chooses to ignore it. 

His face scrunches up, and he plays softly with his curls. “Why did he do it?” 

Louis’ face falls, and he realizes he has to tell Harry because otherwise nothing is fair and he deserves to know, you know? If anyone does, it's him. “I already told some kids, it's been going around,” is what he settles for instead, and Harry sighs.

“ _ Everything _ has been going around. Somebody even said it was because you fancy his mum.” Louis snorts, and Harry can't suppress a small smile. “Just tell me. I don't even know Liam.”

“Yeah, I know, it's just --” Louis coughs into the phone, running a hand through his hair, “I’d rather tell you in person. Sometime next week? I don't know. I just -- I don't really like talking like this.”

“Oh, that's funny, because -- because, well, you like talking like this when I call you to get you off at midnight,” Harry whispers into the mic, and Louis can feel himself get a little tingly, smiling at Harry's mischievous little attitude. “It's nine right now,” Harry says nonchalantly, staring at the clock on his phone, “How about I call you in a few hours and we can really  _ talk _ ?”

Louis throws his head back into his pillows with a huge grin on his face. “I’d like that very much, Harry.” Harry smiles, and so does Louis, and Harry suddenly forgets that he's supposed to be mad at Louis for not telling him why Liam beat him up. 

“I’ll see what I can do.” And he hangs up.

  
  


The next few days pass by too quickly.

Louis saw  _ Honeyboy  _ with Nadine in Manchester and he cooked them tofu cutlet sandwiches and then Nadine rode him under the stars in his backyard because Louis’ ankle was still sprained and it was  _ nice _ . It really was. It was the first time Louis had felt like he liked her in forever. It was sweet and planned and romantic and exciting at the same time and they never really do things like it. 

Louis, due to this celebration on Monday, feels an immense amount of guilt for ever cheating on Nadine. He pledges to himself to never fuck Harry agin. He pledges to himself that he can do shit with Nadine and it'll be even more fulfilling. And then he sees Harry in the hallways and he feels weak in the knees thinking about him sweaty and loud underneath of him and then his pledges are a long forgotten note scribbled in turmeric-water paint. 

He pretends like he doesn't owe Harry an explanation for his eye and he pretends like he doesn't wanna talk to him desperately every time he sees him in class or in passing. Harry texts him and Louis doesn't reply because he's scared to talk to him because he knows he's gonna wanna fuck him again. 

Harry’s confused by it all because he thought they were doing alright. Things seemed fine until Louis started being all weird about getting beat up and Harry doesn't actually mind whatever the reason is, so he doesn't understand why Louis can't just let him know. And it doesn't help that Louis never answers his phone anymore. 

It's only two weeks later that Harry gets a text message from Louis, the first sincere message in so fucking long, asking

_ are u home? can i come over? _

He knows he should say no, or at least fight for his right to talk to him first. To know what he did that made him so distant. What he said or did to Liam. But his mind detaches from his body as he watches himself type

_ yeah through the back _

_ parents r home but asleep _

Louis wipes the tears from his eyes and feels himself blink normal for the first time since the fight. He  _ has  _ to tell Harry today. He will. He’ll fuck him first, though. Yeah. He has to.

He throws on a hoodie and sneaks out through his window, something he's gotten a lot better at, and takes a drive on his bike instead of the car. He knows it's gonna be really fucking annoying later, but it's the best option right now. 

Harry finds himself getting ready. He smooths out his bedsheet and he finds a flannel in his bathroom that he throws right on the sink so he doesn't have to search later. He puts on a pair of tight briefs and a little butterfly patterned hair clip to hold some of his fringe out of his face. He unlocks his door and he puts on a pair of loose fitting jeans and a shitty little muscle tank. Reaching into his nightstand, he decided to spray a little bit of perfume around the room, just enough to make it seem like he's had a candle burning all day. 

Louis  _ speeds  _ to his house. He's memorized the route perfectly and he might have even been faster by bike than he had been by car. 

_ Nothing matters right now. I just need to get up there, I don't care what we do. I just need to be up there with him _ .

He crashes his bike into the backyard and climbs up the stairs quietly, tiptoeing to Harry’s room while trying to maintain his heaving breath.

When Louis turns his back to the door, he spots Harry sitting criss crossed on his bed, smiling sweetly with a tiny clip in his hair. Louis cannot fucking help the smile that spreads over his face.

He walks over to the bed carefully, shrugging his hoodie off on the way, and he sits himself right in front of Harry. 

They're both breathless for a second before Harry leans in and pressed their lips together. Louis moans softly, furrowing his eyebrows and deepening the kiss. He leans Harry into his bed, pressing kisses on his mouth in between sucking in oxygen. 

Harry puts his hands on Louis’ face, holding it right above his with a soft little grin playing on his mouth. “Hey, there,” Harry whispers, a tiny peck pressed against the corner of Louis’ mouth.

“Hey, pretty,” Louis mumbles back happily, kissing Harry on the mouth with a satisfied hum. “How've you been?” Louis asks it into the skin of Harry’s neck, and really, what's Harry supposed to do now? Be real with him?

“Missing you,” Harry moans into his fist and Louis starts to grind their hips together, leaving Harry with a desperate whine. “Mark me up, please. Missed your kisses.” Louis groans an agreement into Harry’s neck, already getting to plenty of work. 

“Missed this,” Louis starts, kissing along the way down his neck and onto his shoulder, “pretty body of yours. God, you're fucking gorgeous,” he presses a wet kiss to Harry’s collarbone and Harry can't help but blush and jokingly slap his arm. 

Louis is already sweating, and Harry notices and thinks it's kinda funny. He strolls his fingers over the sweaty curves in his arms, smirking into Louis’ touch. He feels so fucking  _ good  _ now. With Louis’ hands on his waist and his lips on his neck and his body heat all around him. Everything else just washes away. 

“You look sexy when you're all wet, daddy,” Harry whispers, strolling over the sweat stains on the front of Louis’ wife beater when Louis leans away from him slightly. Louis chuckles down at him, urging another hard kiss on his mouth. 

“You make me so hard so fast, always. Every fucking time,” Louis grunts, pressing one hand against Harry’s ass, slipping below his loose jeans. Harry grimaches, quickly pressing his hand against the inside of Louis’ thigh. “Fuck yes, I missed your hands. Will you jerk daddy off, honey?” Louis hovers above Harry, staring him dark in his eyes and Harry gulps, slowly nodding. “Before I fuck you blind, you’ll jerk daddy off?” Harry’s breath shudders as he nods, swallowing his spit with much trouble.

“I’ll jerk you off first, daddy.”

“Sounds so good when you say it, Harry. When you call me daddy like that.” Harry smiles, forcefully pushing Louis back so his back touched the wall. Harry kisses the inside of Louis’ ear as he breaths, lazily breaking Louis’ erection out of his sweats. “Ah, yeah. Fuck, fuck, you are so wonderful. God,” Louis whimpers, throwing his head back as Harry’s hand softly starts to work at the base of his shaft, tugging up quickly. 

“That feel good, _ daddy _ ?” Harry asks sensually, resting himself underneath Louis' arm while he jerks him off quick and hard, slightly tilted to his face. Louis bites down on his lip hard, nodding aggressively. He's overwhelmed by the feeling of his sweatpants heating his ankles and the feeling of Harry’s little hand on his cock and his hair tickling his chin. 

And it feels so much fucking better than jerking off and pretending it's him. This is  _ so  _ much better. “Yeah, baby, yeah, that feels great.” Harry’s satisfied with the answer, his left over hands strolling over Louis’ chest on top of his muscle tank. “You look gorgeous today. So pretty. You know that, right?” Louis whispers, breathy and orgasm-ready and Harry kisses him in response. Like a thank-you.

“Daddy, I have a question,” Harry starts quietly, taking his hand slowly off of Louis’ cock and hearing the older boy groan in frustration, moving to sit in between Louis’ thighs. He throws Louis’ shoes onto the ground and his sweatpants and his underwear and he nestles right in between his knees, smile on his face. 

“Ask away, baby.” Harry spits on his palm and licks, quickly putting his hand back on Louis’ cock. Louis chuckles with pleasure, eyebrows furrowed. 

Harry collects enough spit again to now spit directly on Louis’ cock, spreading it quickly with his hand. “Will you fuck me in the shower?” Harry whispers it innocently, mouth hovering right on top of the head of Louis’ dick.

Louis blinks quickly then, half-concerned, “I’ve never --”

“Yeah, me neither, I haven't either. I wanna do it with you,” Harry whimpers back to him, mouth pressing just below Louis’ belly button. 

Louis thinks about every single thing that's going to be able to go wrong. And then he thinks about seeing Harry wet and being able to clean Harry and he thinks about rimming Harry and then he doesn't even fucking care where he has to do it, he just fucking  _ needs  _ to do it. 

“Okay,” Louis starts, cotton-mouthed, grabbing Harry by the jaw to bring him up to meet his mouth, “Yeah, I’ll fuck you in the shower.”

Harry giggles as he gets up from off of the bed after pecking Louis’ lips, and he pulls Louis with him. They dance cheekily, little smiles disappearing in the crook of Louis’ neck. Harry presses a hand to Louis’ chest, kissing his collarbone and throwing his tank on the floor of his own room. Harry’s still fully clothed. Louis kind of likes that he's fully naked.

Their lips connect again, and Harry sucks soft on Louis’ bottom lip, biting down like he wants it to hurt. Louis smiles at his little attempt, and sucks back on Harry’s little mouth twice as hard.

As they stumble into the bathroom, Harry starts to notice just how horribly uncomfortable his tight underwear was underneath his jeans, but he tries to fight it for as long as he can. Harry closes the door to his bathroom, locking the door and smashing the lights on without even opening his eyes. Louis picks Harry up, legs on either side of his body as Louis throws him against the door. 

Harry moans just a bit too loud, feeling his cock twitch from the movement and wanting so fucking badly to do everything and more with Louis. He separates their lips desperately, giving Louis full access to his neck. “Alexa! Shower on stream, power 2, warm temperature,” Harry mumbles out after watching the light for his Alexa come on. Louis feels dirt poor hearing Harry’s little shower routine. “Alexa, shuffle my playlist  _ baby _ .”

“You still have a lot of clothes on, pretty boy,” Louis mumbles into Harry's neck, and Harry laughs a little, nodding. “Gonna change that.” He kisses Harry’s jaw once, placing him down carefully on the counter. He lifts Harry’s little shirt on top over his head and tosses it inside of the same sink the flannel was in. Louis’ eyes drop to Harry’s cock, clear and outlined in his jeans. His hand rests on the bulge, and Harry breaths in tightly. “Oh, baby,” Louis tsks, grinning, “you got this hard from just touching daddy’s cock?”

Harry nods, whimpering when he feels Louis’ hands play with the buttons of his jeans, pulling them down and over his ass. Harry’s left with his  _ really  _ tight white underwear suffocating his hard penis, and Louis can't help but grin at the sight. “Daddy, fuck, look at that,” Harry laugh-moans it when Louis strolls his finger over Harry's head through the cotton fabric, “I’m so hard. So hard for you.”

Louis can't fucking help himself. He just grabs Harry by his thighs again, gripping him comfortably as he carries the boy into the shower. It’s a calm stream, warm and comfortable, and the shower head is tall enough, even for Louis. Harry feels the water reach over his body, soaking his underwear completely from above. Louis laughs a bit when he feels at the band of the fabric.

“They’re so tight,” Harry whimpers, sad and  _ wishing _ for relief, and Louis smiles, setting the boy down on the little shower bench (because  _ of course _ Harry has a shower bench) and pressing his underwear all the way from his hips to his ankles, tossing it to the side of the shower. Harry's completely out of the water, Louis’ half covered. “Thanks, thank you,” Harry breathes.

Louis’ sitting in between his thighs and his dick is at eye level and Harry’s so hard that Louis just wants to help him. 

But he's never fucking done this before. He's never sucked a dick. Definitely not like this. He'd probably suck. God, no, he definitely can't do that. Definitely not. 

“Louis? Are you thinking about… sucking my cock?” Louis is shocked by Harry’s sudden voice, and he immediately shocks up from his thoughts, snapping out of his embarrassing faux reality. 

“No, baby,” he lies, and then he lifts Harry up to sit on top of his lap, “Thinking about you sucking my cock.”

Harry smiles back at him, a kiss wet on his mouth. “Can I try something?” he asks quietly, and Louis smiles curiously, nodding. Harry’s hand grabs his own cock and then attempts to grab Louis’ in the same hand, but his hands are too small. Louis almost reaches in to help, but then Harry has a hand on both of their cocks and they’re rubbing against each other and Louis feels fucking amazing.

“Oh, that feels nice, princess. Feels really nice,” Louis mumbles, throwing his head back in pleasure. There's so much friction between the two of them, forcing each other against one another. “I feel your little cock spazzing against mine. You sensitive, baby? Touch yourself a lot lately?” Harry gets weirdly turned on by his dick being called small, despite it not actually being so ( _ thank you very much _ ), and he nods, whimpering against the back of Louis’ shoulder. 

Harry thrusts his hips into his own hand and against Louis’ penis and Louis follows, doing exactly the same until they unravel in each other’s arms, moaning sloppy names and silly pleasure talk. They come fast and hard on each other, breathing heavy as they stand up again, 

“Anybody fuck you lately?” Louis asks, as if he still fucking has to, before pressing Harry against the wall in the stream of the water. Harry shakes his head, face against the cold tile of the wall. “Good. My baby’ll be nice and tight, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, daddy. Tight for you.” Louis grins against Harry’s milky little skin and he pushes Harry’s back down a bit until they're perfectly aligned. Louis is really fucking afraid that he's gonna fall, but he stares down at the gripping mats on the shower floor and he feels like it cannot possibly happen and  _ this  _ just needs to happen now.

Louis, quickly, spits over two of his fingers, wanting to test just how  _ incredible  _ Harry is gonna feel. He sticks his middle finger in first, gentle and slow as he kisses against his spine. “Ah,  _ ah _ , daddy,” Harry whimpers, his hole glittering against Louis’ finger. Louis’ other hand rests on his lower back, warming the space and occupying it with more contact. “Is that just one finger?” Harry asks, slight tone of concern in his voice.

“Yeah, honey. That's just one. Think you can handle a couple more?” Louis asks soft, pressing a hickey to Harry’s back. Harry takes a deep breath in and then nods, holding his hands in fists against the shower wall. Meanwhile, Louis pokes his second finger against Harry’s perky little hole. “Doing good, baby.”

“Hmmm… thanks daddy. Feels -- ah, oh,  _ fuck,  _ feel so good in my tummy.” Louis smiled at the blabbering, pushing his fingers in and out of Harry a little faster. He watches as Harry squirms, moaning into his hands and crossing his legs in pleasure, desperation reeking on his lips. 

Louis goes knuckle deep, curving his fingers up into a little hook, and Harry squirms immediately. His body shocks forward a bit, and Louis laughs a little, kissing Harry’s right ass cheek. “You liked that, then?” Louis smiles, and Harry nods, preparing for him to do it again. And he does. Quickly, over and over again, shocking two fingers inside of him with a grin on his face. Harry’s moaning so fucking loud that there's no way his parents can't hear him.

“Daddy, ah, Louis, Louis! Fuck. Holy shit, please. I can't. Fuck me,  _ please _ . I’m ready.”

Louis tsks, kissing up Harry’s back as Harry shivers. “You can barely handle two of my fingers, baby boy.”

“I want your cock inside me, daddy, please, I  _ need  _ it,” Harry whines more, staring back at him over his shoulder. Louis feels goosebumps spread over his body, taking his two fingers from Harry’s hole with a grin on his mouth. “Please, I want you to - I want you to fuck me so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” he smirks back, quickly lining his leaking cock up with Harry’s slightly stretched hole. “You gotta be a little bit quieter though, honey.” Harry nods, pounding his fist against the wet wall. Louis presses the head of his cock inside of Harry and immediately he knows exactly how fucking incredible he's gonna feel.

Harry's jaw drops, mouth wide open as he feels Louis’ throbbing length slowly start to creep inside of him. 

Louis holds him by either side of his waist, hot water streaming down his face, and he pushes himself in half-way carefully. He doesn't wanna hurt Harry. He really, really doesn't. 

“Ah, holy shit,” Harry whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut. He feels open and exposed and all he wants is for Louis to fuck him hard but he  _ knows  _ that it'll hurt if they start to do that right now, so he lets Louis open him up. He lets Louis’ dick slowly inch inside while he moans through desperate breaths. 

“You're doing okay, baby?” Harry nods heavy, as if proving just how okay he is by letting out a quivering moan, and Louis smiles cheekily. He bucks his hips all the way inside of Harry once, going as deep as he can, and Harry immediately yelps.

“Fuck! Oh, fuck. Lou --  _ daddy _ .” Harry’s body feels like it's on fire, getting touched and fucked and wet. Louis starts to slowly thrust inside of him, looking down at the sight and wondering why the fuck he never takes Harry from behind. “Oh, yeah, harder. C’mon, please, daddy,” Harry moans, and it's a little bit too loud for Louis’ liking.

Louis brings his right hand from Harry’s waist to his neck, grasping it from behind and pressing his fingers to the sides. He fucks Harry harder, just like he asked, but he chokes him at the same time. “You're gonna be quiet for daddy, alright? No more screaming,” Louis whispers, hardly clear on top of the shower’s stream and the music playing in the background. Nevertheless, Harry nods, reaching for Louis’ hand choking him and trying hard to get it off of him. Louis thrusts deeper, hand still on Harry’s neck, and grins when Harry moans under his breath. “You promise?”

Harry nods heavily, prying Louis’ hands off of his neck and heaving. He feels Louis deep inside of him, fucking into him perfectly, while he tries to regain his breath. But he's more quiet now. He has to be. 

“You feel nice and tight, Harry. Really good,” Louis moans slowly, throwing his head back as he starts to twist his hips, hitting every possible angle of Harry’s hole. 

“Daddy, daddy, you feel so good,” Harry whimpers, looking back to see Louis beautifully wet by the shower water and biting down on his lip in focus. Harry feels like he can't stand up any more, but he has to, even as he's crossing his legs in pleasure and anguish. “Fuck, harder, please.”

Louis chuckles but doesn't hesitate to bring his fortune to truth, slamming into Harry miles faster than before, pressing wet kisses onto Harry’s back and shoulders and fucking him like it means everything to him. Harry can hardly contain the sounds inside of him, breathing out quickly and uneven, the pleasure bubbling to the surface. “Ah, ah, I can't -- fuck, fuck, fuck!” Harry throws caution to the wind, loud again, and then he feels Louis’ hand around his throat again. “I’m sorry!” he whimpers out.

He’s lucky that Louis is so close to coming that he can't even be bothered to try and choke him. His breath is uneven and harsh and Harry notices the wincing sounds immediately. He reaches for his own cock, jerking himself off so that him and Louis come perfectly at the same time. 

“Gonna come in your tight little hole,” Louis groans, lips grazing Harry’s ear. Harry shivers, nodding.

“M’gonna come, too, daddy.” Louis smiles, humming in pleasure as he slams into Harry a few more times, distinctly hitting his prostate over and over again. Harry feels it all too much, his tummy clenching and his thighs shaky. His calves feel like they can't possibly support his body anymore. “Fuck, right there.” 

Harry’s tummy flutters and his entire body shakes, stumbling in an effort to stay standing as he comes all over his hand, loud moans fighting to stay inside of his mouth. He's shaking through all of it, and Louis holds him tight, kissing his shoulders and whispering, “I got you, baby.”

“Oh, daddy,” Harry whimpers, feeling his hole get shot up with warm, thick cum.

“Holy shit, ah, fuck, fuck,” Louis whines out slow and lowly, leaving a huge, bitten hickey on Harry’s shoulder blade as he's using the last of his energy to fuck inside of Harry a few more times to get all of his come inside the boy. 

He pulls out, and Harry breaths loud and heavy from the loss of contact, immediately dropping to his hands and knees on the floor. Louis breathes heavy, jerking the last bit of his come out onto his hand and then sitting right next to Harry. Harry, who is panting and whimpering. 

“You okay, baby?” Louis asks softly, resting a hand on Harry’s back. Harry looks up, nodding shakily. “Why don't you stay right here, and I’ll clean you all nice?” Louis suggests, and Harry pants, nodding again.

“I’d like that,” Harry whispers, half covered by water. His hair gets nice and wet, his face getting the heat, as well. Louis kisses Harry’s shoulder and then he stands up, grabbing a loofah and a strawberry body wash. Perfect.

Louis wets the loofah, pouring some body wash on the product before starting to lather Harry’s soft skin. He starts with Harry’s shoulders, watching the soap wash away slowly. “So pretty,” Louis whispers against the skin, kissing his neck gently. “You are such a pretty, pretty boy.”

Harry giggles, getting up from his position slowly and instead sitting down on his knees to copy Louis, meeting his eyes. Louis stares at him while he runs the loofah all over his body. Under his arms, on his tummy, right above his groin. Harry feels taken care of and nice and happy and he keeps leaning more and more into Louis’ touches.

“Sorry,” Harry whispers then, suddenly feeling an amount of guilt for not being able to go again, and Louis frowns immediately.

“Sorry for what, hon?” Harry’s tummy tingles from the nickname.

“I don't know, usually we, like, we do a lot of stuff. But now we can't because I’m so tired and I don't know. I’m sorry.” While Harry babbles, Louis is gently finishing up his soaping, slight frown still on his face.

“Don't be like that, baby. I don't mind. I’m glad I got to make you feel good, that's all that matters, right? Feeling good?” Harry hesitates and then he nods, smiling. “You didn't do anything wrong.” Louis sits down in front of Harry, reaching to hang the loofah back up on its hook. He grabs Harry’s hands and smiles, pressing a kiss to his fingernails. “We’ll only do what you want.” Louis reaches up again to grab Harry’s shampoo. 

“Thank you,” Harry mumbles, feeling like a little child all of a sudden. He can do all of this himself, but being taken care of is  _ so fucking nice _ . He feels liked and warm and Louis’ fingertips on his scalp are like a reminder of it all. 

He sits back a bit when Louis moves to the other side of him to wash his hair up for him. He listens to Louis hum along to  _ High  _ by Slow Pulp and he's smiling and it feels so normal and nice and sweet. 

“This is nice,” he finds himself mumbling out as Louis tries to figure out how to detach the shower head. When Louis finally figures it out, he sits right back down behind Harry and starts to run his fingers through his lathered hair, slowly washing it all out.

“Yeah,” Louis smiles back, kissing Harry’s shoulder, “this is nice.”

Louis cleans out Harry’s hair, and then Harry’s all good to get up, grabbing Louis’ hand and grinning. Louis turns the water off slowly and they’re in the shower for a bit, just standing, naked and wet and tired and Harry kind of wants to stay in longer so that he can clean himself  _ better _ , but he won't.

“Alexa, volume 3.” The music simmers away to a near whisper, and Louis can't get his hands off of Harry’s body. They've never really taken time to be with each other. Because they're not supposed to. Because Louis isn't gay.

And Louis panics. So he breaks free from Harry and steps out of the shower. Harry sighs, knowing exactly what happened, cautiously leaving his underwear behind in the shower. Louis steps forward and grabs a towel, wrapping it around his hips to cover himself. Harry does not grab a towel, instead slipping into his bathrobe. 

Harry reaches slow for his phone, pausing the music, and he looks back at Louis. 

Louis is looking down at his feet and he looks like he's about to cry and Harry wants to do  _ something  _ but he knows it's not his place. And he still needs to talk to him. And he can't upset him like this, he doesn't want to.

“Are you okay?” Harry asks slowly, and Louis squints his eyes closed thrice before putting up a little smile, nodding.

“I’m good,” Louis says back, and he kisses Harry’s cheek hesitantly.

“Lou, I know you don't want to,” Harry starts, turning the fan in the bathroom on as he opens the door to his room, “but we have to talk. I… you owe me some explanations.”

Louis shuffles out of the bathroom and sighs, sitting down on Harry’s bed. “I don't actually owe you anything, Harry. We’re just messing around and I wanted a break --”

“Louis, don't fucking say that to me.” Harry grits his teeth and drops his robe on the floor in front of his dresser, grabbing another pair of undies to fit snug on his hips. He turns around to face Louis, eyebrow cocked. “You know that's bullshit. You ignored me for weeks. You said we would talk about what happened and all you did was fucking ignore me. That's not fair.”

“Nothing’s fucking fair, Harry, Jesus.” Louis chuckles dark and stares at Harry halfway across the room. “Listen, I’m sorry I ignored you. But this isn't anything more than fooling around. You need to stop thinking that --”

“I don't think anything of what's going on between us. You fuck me and we both like it and that's fucking it, right? Fine.” Harry sighs, grabbing Louis’ hoodie from the floor and shrugging it over his semi-wet body. “Can you just fucking tell me what happened between you and Liam? I think I at  _ least  _ earned that.” 

Louis stares at Harry walking over to him, sitting right next to him. 

“I don't wanna fucking tell you, that's why I haven't told you,” Louis mumbles, and he stares at Harry and Harry’s so close to him and somehow yelling at Harry from a distance was fine but as soon as he came close enough, he never wanted to say anything bad to him ever again. 

“Please?” Harry grabs Louis’ hand, wrapping his fingers around his own gently. Louis sighs, staring down at their hands, and he feels so icky inside. 

He swallows hard, closing his eyes. “I called him a fag.” Harry stares at Louis blankly. “He's been seeing a guy and he told me and I was the first person he told and I called him a fag.”

“Why would you do that?” Harry asks, loosening his grip on Louis’ hand because he doesn't feel like he wants to hold him close anymore. 

“I don't know, I don't know. Because he's dating a guy. Because… because he told me? I don't know. I just -- I called him a fag and then he beat me up and he still won't talk to me.”

“You have to apologize.”

“He blocked my number. Won't talk to me in school. And I’m kinda scared of him, now.”

Harry starts to accept that he's probably the only person Louis can be himself around. And it scares the fuck out of him. “Give him a bit more time. I mean, he came out to you and you shamed him for being gay when you…”

“When I  _ what? _ ” Louis asks, gritted teeth.

“Louis, Jesus, we just had  _ sex _ . You're not… you're not straight and that's okay, you know?”

Louis chuckles, and he fights Harry's hand away from his own, picking his underwear, sweats and shirt up from the floor and heading back into the bathroom.

He locks the door and sits down in his towel against the wall, sigh escaping his lips with a little cry threatening to come out. He's not gay. He's  _ not _ . He doesn't fuck Harry because Harry’s a guy. He fucks Harry because Harry is fun and adventurous and basically like a girl. 

He slips into his underwear and his shirt, tossing the towel on the floor. “Lou, please, I’m sorry, I was out of line,” Harry mumbles against the bathroom door as Louis tugs his sweats up his hips. He scoffs at Harry’s comment. 

When he's fully dressed, he wipes the tears brimming in his eyes and he steps back into Harry’s room. 

He ignores Harry as he steps into his shoes. He turns back to Harry after his shoes are on, and he steps forward until their chests are touching. Harry breathes heavy, and Louis is trying so hard to keep it all under control. 

And then Louis dips down to kiss Harry, open mouthed and gorgeous and willing, with his hands on Harry’s cheeks and his eyes closed and squinted. He only lets go when he feels like he can't breathe anymore and he presses his mouth against Harry’s one  _ last  _ time, and then he steps back. 

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis whispers, and his voice croaks for the first time Harry’s ever heard and it breaks his fucking heart. 

But before Harry can even begin to reach back or say a single word, Louis’ out of his door, and Harry feels a bit more empty inside again.

  
  



	6. sun room

Like always, Louis pretends that nothing really happened. He doesn't text Harry or even spare him a glance in the hallway until the weekend, and it's back to normal.

Or at least however normal their situation can be. Because all it means is that Louis came over to Harry’s house again and this time they went straight to the basement and locked the door and sat in this little, gorgeous sunroom with sheets and blankets  _ everywhere _ . 

It’s late at night, the stars out bright above them. Louis can't believe the sight; pale moonlight illuminating the curve of the crook in Harry’s nose; The stars casting light on the white linen at his feet. He feels unbreakable, just staring at Harry staring at him in the doorway. Watching as Harry pulls him out of the doorway and into the room that seems like it should only exist in a dream. 

Harry presses a kiss onto Louis’ cheek, chaste and sweet, and then positions one of his hands warmly on his chest. Louis feels caught between worlds; star struck. “When I was a kid,” Harry says quietly, rolling his cheek to Louis’ shoulder, “I used to come out here and sleep when things weren't that great,” he kisses Louis’ neck soft and intentional, hooking a finger around Louis’ belt loop, “it’s nice here…” Harry brings Louis a bit closer to him, smiling against his collarbone, “quiet and peaceful and comforting.”

Louis nods soft, going along with every soft sway of Harry’s body. “It is,” Louis shushes back with a toothless grin. “Like there's nobody else anywhere.”

“Yeah, exactly.” Harry places one of his hands on Louis’ cheek, rubbing his thumb over the rough skin. He lathers Louis’ mouth with his own, breathing in soft through his nostrils with the urgency of nothing. “I’ve been here a lot lately.”

Louis doesn't know what to do with that. His heart feels like it's hanging heavy and low and he doesn't want to say anything, but he presses his mouth back on Harry’s and immediately after releasing he blurts, “Am I making you sad?”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat, staring forward at Louis right in front of him. “No. No, you're not making me sad, it's not about you,” Harry offers, planting another kiss on Louis’ lips. “I just miss feeling like I can do things alone. Here is the only time I feel like I can just…” Harry dwindles, his finger potent on his temple as Louis scoffs playfully at his ridiculousness, “like I can just be with  _ myself _ . Do you know what I mean? Like, I just-- I don't know, forget it,” Harry smiles, genuine, reaching forward to wet Louis’ lips again. He's stopped by Louis himself, who leans back a smidge and frowns. 

“It's okay. We don't have to forget it if you don't want to forget it,” Louis whispers back, and he feels so fucking weak and he hates it but it's  _ Harry _ and Harry deserves to be listened to. “This place is special. It's nice you brought us here.”

_ You fucking idiot. You're being a fag. This is fucking ridiculous and you're not even fucking him.  _

He really fucking tries not to pay attention to his own voice nagging at the back of his brain, drilling holes into his skull in an attempt to protect him. 

Harry kisses Louis again, deeper now, his eyes squinted closed and his mouth unraveling. Louis runs his tongue on the inside of Harry’s mouth, feeling the bumps of his teeth clean against his own. Harry moans a little bit as Louis breathes shallowly into the kiss, sending deep shivers to his spine. “Lou,” Harry whispers, mumbling between little breaths, “Want you now.”

Louis smiles into the kiss, and a part of his stupid fucking brain thanks him so much for finally getting to this part. “Want you too, Harry,” Louis grunts back, and the two of them slowly make it down onto the ground, continuously kissing and laughing at them trying to make their way leaning onto the sheets.

“What,” Louis starts, kissing against Harry's neck when he finally lands comfortable on top of him, “do you,” he loops his thumb around Harry’s necklace, running it over the gold-plated chain, “want me to do?” He finishes, placing his teeth into a sensitive little spot on Harry’s collarbone. 

“I want your fingers,” Harry says soft and shy and Louis wants to smile but he can't help but kiss Harry instead, “and your tongue.”

Louis grins, his hands moving quickly from Harry’s necklace to getting them underneath of his shirt, feeling around on his pecs and licking down his neck at the same time. Harry holds in whimpery moans, his hands wrapped inside Louis’ hair and around his shoulder. “Definitely,” Louis smiles, flicking his thumb over his nipple. Harry's nostrils flare, sucking in a hard breath and breathing it out with pleasure. He feels his dick swell in his sweats, whimpering. “You make me so fucking hard, Harry,” he groans it into Harry’s ear, licking over the flop of skin sneaking into the inside. As if to prove his point, Louis takes one of Harry’s hands and presses it to his groin, smiling dirty.

“Likewise,” Harry whispers back, bucking his hips up so that his cock bounces against Louis’ balls, moaning tight and low. 

“Let me see your pretty little cock,” Louis grins it against Harry’s shoulder, biting down slow as he slides off of Harry, halfway on top of him now and resting his hand on the bump in Harry’s sweats. Harry nods, desperately, and slides his sweats down immediately to his mid thigh, now left in tight black boxer shorts. Louis hums slowly, stroking his fingers over Harry's outlined cock. Harry whimpers, leaning into Louis’ hair. 

Louis spits on the palm of his hand and slides it inside of the boxers, wrapping his hand slick around Harry’s thick cock, sighing in pleasure. “God, your hands,” Harry whimpers. “So good.” Louis grins and then leans in to kiss Harry, hand stroking over his cock lush and full. Harry’s eyebrows are faltered, he’s leaning into every little touch Louis’ fingertips tap on his body and he doesn't even fucking know why.

“You look so pretty in this light,” Louis whispers, as if unbeknownst to himself, and he sucks a wet kiss onto Harry’s beautiful open mouth. Harry whimpers, smiling up at Louis blissfully. He arches his back, hips working to find an angle to jerk properly into Louis’ hand. “Pretty in every light.”

Harry wraps both his hands around Louis’ neck, his nails digging into the soft skin with necessity. He's cursing under his breath, moaning gentle and gorgeous and throaty moans. “Thank you,” his tone is genuine, making Louis nod distinctively. Louis’ thumb presses over his slit, and Harry can't help the louder moan that erupts. “Feels so good,” Harry laughs, scrunching his face and lifting his back up from the blanket they're on, leaning into Louis dramatically. 

“Your tummy’s rising,” Louis chuckles, resting his one hand on Harry’s stomach, his other hand quickly working Harry’s cock. “Means you're close.” He licks his lips, staring right at Harry’s lips. Even just thinking of Harry’s fucking stupid lips on his cock makes him feel insane. 

“Don't wanna come yet, Lou,” he whines, frowning softly at Louis. 

“You want me to eat you out, baby?” Louis sings, his hand moving on Harry's penis disgustingly slowly. Harry whimpers, wringing his body around as he nods. “Turn onto your tummy, hon.”

Harry does what he says as quickly as he can, turning onto his tummy and grabbing a pillow that's pushed to the side underneath his stomach to hold his body perked up. “I’m so fucking hard,” Harry grunts, his cock grinding against the soft cotton blend of the pillow unintentionally. Louis nods, as if it's obvious, and pushes Harry’s sweatpants and boxer shorts down to his knees. 

“I know, baby. Cock felt so nice in my hand,” Louis smiles, licking kisses onto Harry’s bare ass. Harry whimpers at the comment, bucking his ass into Louis’ face. “Eager,” he laughs, softly spanking the side of Harry’s hip. 

“Please no teasing,” Harry’s voice breaks, breathing out loudly. “Lube?” he asks again, soft and comfortable. Louis nods, and Harry points over to his sweatpants. There's a little lube packet (cherry flavored) in Harry’s pocket, and Louis gulps. He wants to make Harry cum like this. 

He wants to make Harry cum with his tongue and only his tongue.

Louis thinks about this and wastes no time, ripping the packet with his teeth and dripping it slowly over Harry’s pink hole. “So pretty.” Louis spreads the lube with his fingers, spreading the leftover on his balls and the base of his cock. Harry moans, his body launching forward a bit.

“Fuck, Lou, please,” Harry whimpers as Louis’ finger dips against Harry’s tight muscle. “Wanna feel your tongue.”

He presses the very tip of his finger inside of Harry’s slicked hole, watching it tighten. He sneaks his tongue on the side, thick and sloppy. “Tastes so good,” Louis mumbles in between Harry’s cheeks, the vibration making Harry shiver. Harry's body twitches, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, catching a moan. 

“Feels so fucking good,” Harry cries out, his mouth falling open. Louis starts to nip at his hole, taking his finger out and spreading his tight entrance with his thumbs. He bites at the rigid side, licking over it immediately and tasting the cherry thick in his mouth. Harry feels Louis’ little stubble in between his cheeks, and he swears it makes him even more excited. 

Louis sucks, licking in a loop and moaning into Harry’s bum, his nose pressing hard against Harry’s skin. 

“Louis! Oh, ah --  _ Lou _ !” Harry’s hips work into the pillow and tears spring in his eyes as his body shakes sloppily. Louis is going insane from Harry’s twitching sounds, sucking hard and licking inside of Harry’s hole. Harry moans again, rolling his hips into Louis’ mouth. “Fuck! Jesus  _ Christ _ , fuck. How -- how are you so  _ good _ at this?” 

Louis, feeling oddly satisfied with himself, hums into Harry’s asshole. He spreads him further apart, sinking his teeth softly into the top of his hole, matting his tongue on the area afterwards again and  _ again _ until Harry is a mumbling mess in his arms.

“I’m gonna cum, fuck, I’m gonna come from just your fucking tongue,” Harry whines, laugh-moaning loudly. 

“Don't come yet, baby,” Louis mumbles, “Wanna flip you over,” he bites, “Want you to cum on my face,” he laps his tongue, whispering his request, and Harry is fucking  _ tingling _ .

Harry feels Louis’ hands skillfully flip him around so that Harry’s on his back, lower back now on the pillow. “Get these fucking pants off of me,” Harry mumbles, annoyed and half laughing. Louis, chin slobbered with lube, chuckles hard, but happily obliges. He presses Harry’s sweats and boxer shorts all the way down, easily wringing them away from his toes and dumping it to their side. “Thank God.”

Louis’ fingers draw immediately to spread Harry’s hole again, licking inside with his nose pressing against his balls. “Hmm… could do this for hours,” Louis whispers, sucking around the rim and making Harry whimper, fingers now tightening into the sheets around him. “Pretty little hole. Pretty little boy.”

“Fuck, daddy, I’m -- I’m so close,” Harry whimpers, and Louis immediately reaches one hand up to start working at Harry’s thick and sensitive cock. Harry throws his head back, his stomach fluttering along with his eyelashes as he focuses on Louis’ hands. 

Louis’ mouth sucks one more time on his hole before appearing from between Harry’s legs with a smile, grinning up at Harry’s heaving chest and pouting mouth. “That feel good, baby?” he mutters it against Harry’s inner thigh as he jerks him off skillfully, a grin plastered on his mouth. Harry squirms, nodding.

“Feels so fucking good, Louis. So fucking good.” Louis hums in approval, his hands moving faster around Harry’s wet cock, and he watches Harry's tummy rise again. “I’m gonna cum, yeah, I’m gonna cum,” Harry grunts, stretching his back out as his body vibrates, pins and needles heavy on his skin. He comes fast and hard, unraveling in Louis’ hands, and Louis makes  _ sure _ that it reaches his face. That Harry’s cum is in his mouth and on his cheek and dripping from his eyebrow. Harry’s panting, his eyes shut and his toes curling in pleasure. 

It's salty; and it's kind of weird; and Louis feels  _ dirty _ ; but it's okay. It's okay because it's Harry and it's okay because it'll feel okay soon.

Louis licks it off of his lips, crawling up Harry’s body to meet his lips. He kisses him twice, letting Harry taste the sweet cherry lube mixed with his own cum. “Daddy,” Harry whimpers it into Louis’ mouth, needy and wanting, “I feel so good.” Louis wraps his fingers gently around Harry’s wrists, bringing them on top of his head. 

“I’m glad, princess, so glad,” Louis hums again, kissing against Harry’s curls. He moans out when he notices his own cum hitting him in the face from Louis’ cheek, kissing against his skin sweetly. Louis softly wipes his face off with his thumb, licking it up inside of his mouth. Harry’s cock twitches on his stomach, watching Louis swallow his cum, and he’s about to say something when he feels his thumb in his mouth.

His tongue swirls around Louis’ thumb, licking up his own cum and keeping eye contact with him. Louis feels his cock throb, eyes wide as he stares at Harry. “Just seeing you like that made me all hard,” he whispers, eyes dark and lustful. He takes his thumb out of Harry’s mouth, kissing him chastely.

Louis slips Harry's hand to his own crotch and Harry bites down on his bottom lip, still never breaking eye contact with Louis. He feels over the hard bulge, eyes glistening. He brings his other hand from under Louis’ grip to Louis groin. 

He stares at Louis’ flushed face as he fumbles with the fly of Louis’ jeans. “Hold on,” Harry whispers, rolling himself on top of Louis. Louis smiles, looking up at Harry. They share a chaste kiss, and then Harry’s quickly getting Louis’ pants to his mid thigh. He tingles his fingers over Louis’ hard cock through his boxers, and Louis shivers immediately. “Want me to touch you?”

He nods desperately, looking at Harry, who is in the same position he was just in. “Yes, please,” Louis mumbles, pressing a kiss to Harry’s ear. 

“Tell me… tell me how much you want me to touch you,” Harry bites back, his hand still stroking Louis’ agonized dick on top of his boxers. Louis squeezes his eyes shut, letting a bright grunt escape his lips. 

“I want -- fuck, Harry, baby, I just want you to touch me, please?” Harry smiles against his skin, kissing up his neck soft and sweet, curls tickling Louis’ chin. Harry doesn't slip his hand inside, and Louis is fucking pissed about it. “Touch my cock,  _ now _ , fucking Jesus Christ, Harry,” Louis groans, stretching his back helplessly as Harry’s hand roughly rubs his inner thigh.

“What do you want me to do again?” Harry whispers back, and Louis chuckles hard with an agonized, yet genuine smile playing on his lips.

“Want you to make me cum, baby. Can you make daddy come with your pretty little hands?” 

And suddenly, Harry’s hand slips past the waistband of the boxers and grips Louis’ throbbing cock. Louis whimpers immediately, pushing himself up by his heels. “Fuck,” he mumbles, arm wrapped around Harry’s shoulder. “Ah, baby,” Louis moans, his mouth grappled around the corner of Harry’s ear. 

“Love your cock,” Harry whispers, maybe a little to himself, and he flips his wrist quickly, pressing a hard kiss to Louis’ jaw. “Wanna do this for _ days _ . Make you feel so nice, daddy.”

Louis’ spine tingles, his toes wiggling in his socks as he feels Harry’s hand jerk him hard and dry and he doesn't even fucking care. He thrusts his hips up, meeting Harry’s fist in the air. The corners of Harry’s lips turn up into a sly smile, licking gentle kisses onto Louis’ neck. “Soft little hands, soft fucking hands,” Louis mumbles, stretching his neck out for the boy under his arms.

“You like it when I touch you? Fast and sloppy like we’re in the back of a car somewhere?” Harry whispers, speeding up his hand and making Louis’ moans echo through the glass-covered, star-struck room. Louis nods, his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed. 

“Fuck, fuck, Harry, I’m gonna cum,” Louis mumbles, sticking his nose in Harry’s curls with a whimper quiet on his lips. “Gonna cum, you're so good, baby, you're so good.”

Within what seems like a mere  _ second _ , Louis feels Harry’s mouth on the tip of his cock, his hand still jerking fast and hard. And when he feels Harry suck gently over his slit, he loses it. He thrusts his hips up slightly and he comes all over Harry's open mouth, his hands grabbing fistfuls of the sheets and moaning into the air. “Jesus, God, Holy fucking mother of Jesus, Mary. I can't believe you made me feel like that,” Louis starts, still catching his breath, “with just your stupid fucking hand.”

Harry smiles, kissing against Louis’ tummy with his cum-covered lips. He licks the rest of it up, swallowing gladly. “And my mouth,” Harry grins, crawling back up to Louis and ghosting his warm breath over Louis’. Louis shivers, his hands gripping the fabric of Harry’s shirt. He presses their mouths together sloppily, uneven breaths and desperate tongues colliding. Louis moans, and then he's rolling them around again so that he's back on top of Harry, sucking gladly on his lips.

“You're so good to me,” Louis whispers in between sucks. His fingertips dance over Harry’s skin, pressing firmly against his love handles and softly against the sensitive part of his tummy. “Makes me feel like you're not real.” He separates their lips fully, nose still resting against Harry’s. “Are you real?”

Harry laughs, crinkled eyes and all, and Louis joins in, pressing tiny kisses to Harry’s mouth in between smiles. “You dreamt me up,” Harry teases, pressing their groins together filthily. Louis tsks, spanking Harry’s outer thigh. 

“A very long and very detailed sex dream,” Louis smiles down at Harry, who giggles and leans back up to kiss Louis. 

“Lou,” Harry starts, hesitant and soft, “would you maybe wanna…” he turns red, something that is very unlike Harry, and Louis frowns a little, “I’m sorry, I just -- would you maybe wanna-- uh--”

“Spit it out, love.”

“Would you wanna spend the night?” He bites down on his lip, and he watches Louis’ face twist from joy to something that resembles fear.

Louis imagines it all. Laying here with Harry until sunrise. Watching the pretty colors come up and hit Harry’s face, holding him close and tight. They’d fall asleep in the morning and not worry about a single fucking thing and Louis wants nothing more than that. He wants nothing more than a night talking to Harry and sleeping with Harry next to him. Nothing.

“Are you insane?” Louis asks, and it's like a whisper, an accusatory and mean whisper. Harry immediately feels the bang in his chest he never thought he would. “I can't -- yeah, no, I can't stay here, Harry. Are you  _ insane _ ?”

Harry feels empty as Louis shifts from his spot on the sheets. He's sitting next to him now, legs crossed and pants pulled up, still unbuttoned. Harry stutters, red and fearful. “No -- I mean-- I just -- I just thought it might be  _ nice _ , I-- I don't know.” He grabs his boxer shorts from at his feet and pulls them over his hips, suddenly feeling unwelcomingly exposed.

“It's bad enough that I -- that I have sex with you, Harry. I can't -- no, I fucking can't stay the night. I will  _ never  _ stay the night.” Harry feels defeated despite knowing this was the likely reaction.

But everything had been so nice just now. Just now. Seconds ago, before Harry popped the big question and made Louis freak the fuck out. 

“I just -- why not? I think it might be nice,” he tries to fight, tries to make Louis see that it's okay. Instead, Louis scoffs, zipping his pants up quickly. 

Louis has to suck in a deep breath before saying the next few words. “Because I’m not a fag like you, Harry. And I have a girlfriend who will wonder where the fuck I am.” 

Harry bites down on his nails, refusing to look up at Louis. Louis. The same Louis who just asked if he was real or not. The same Louis who just said Harry made him feel good.

“There's nothing wrong with being a  _ fag _ ,” Harry whispers, and he almost feels himself starting to cry, but he fucking can't, he can't, “It's nice being yourself. You should try it.”

Louis scoffs. “I  _ am  _ myself. Fuck off, Harry. You don't know me like you think you do,” he spits, words raging but his fucking eyes sad and droopy. 

“You are a fucking closested football player, Louis. Grow up. Your life’s not some big theatrical event where you're the main character,” Harry turns his body towards Louis, bitter tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

“And you're a fucking gay little track runner with a fucking  _ sunroom  _ covered in  _ blankets _ . You're not the fucking main character either, dickhead.” Louis looks at Harry and he feels a tear drop down his cheek, wiping it immediately. Harry looks back at him, tears now dripping down his cheeks. 

“I feel  _ bad  _ for you, Louis fucking Tomlinson,” Harry chuckles, watching Louis’ face contort into a deep frown, “You go about your day holding in so much shit that it makes you an absolute  _ asshole _ . The only times you're tolerable is when we fuck. You are so  _ fucking  _ amazing when we’re together. And I feel bad for you because you -- you don't allow yourself to be that guy all the time. He is funny and witty and comfortable. You're a shell of a human -- you're just the fucking shell of a human that's being forced to be straight by nobody but himself.” Harry lets his angry tears flow hot on his cheeks.

Louis’ eyes water again, tears now dripping down as Louis wipes them frantically. “Fuck you, Harry!” He says it in a moment of weakness and fear and he wants to  _ leave _ . But he doesn't. “I am so  _ fucking  _ sorry that you think I’m gay and that you fucking want me to be gay so bad that you'll cry about it.” Louis starts to get up, wiping his cheeks again.

“You know what?” Harry says, grabbing Louis by his arm before he can start leaving, “I am so  _ fucking _ sorry that you want to be straight so bad. Enjoy the upcoming pussy in your life. Fuck. You.” 

Louis rips his arm away from Harry and scoffs, walking out the door shakily but trying so fucking hard to appear confident. 

The door shuts and Harry sighs, sitting down in the mountain of blankets with his head in his hands. The only place he likes to be feels gross now. The energy’s been disturbed and Harry can't deal with that. But he can't bring himself to move.

He sits and he lets tears run down his cheeks as he hears the back door open and close. Some people never change.

  
  



	7. mall time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, naturally, the one day he wants to be alone, his sisters need to be all over him.
> 
> "Lou, please! Mom never has time and we can't drive yet. Please, please, could you take us to the mall?” Fizzy and Lottie stand by the stairs just as he makes his way up them. Their big eyes stare at him like an insane reminder of reality and in some kind of dazed and disillusioned state, he responds,
> 
> “Yeah, yeah, sure, guys.” 

Trip Samuels is having a house party Friday.

By some fucking miracle, Harry got an invite. Harry got invited to a normie house party. Amazing. 

Obviously, he's bringing Chris and Niall and Penelope. Obviously, he's gonna get shit-faced. And obviously, he's gonna try and forget about Louis fucking Tomlinson.

It has been four days since they last saw each other and Harry strongly believes he never wants to see Louis again. Despite his strong belief, he feels a tingle in his stomach every time he passes him in the hallway. Every time he sees him in calculus. It's impossible to ignore.

Louis is fucking tired, too. He has a home game next Friday and he’s been zoning out during practice lately. They need their fucking quarterback, and Louis feels like he's grossly underperforming. And on top of it, he has to deal with Nadine being worried about him because he's unmotivated and standoff-ish. 

He twiddles his thumbs during class, trying to muster up the courage to talk to Harry. To text him. To fucking wave at him, anything. But he feels defeated and gross and humiliated.

Mrs. Cooper calls on him to answer a question, but he just zones out. Zayn hits his shoulder, as if to make sure that he's alive, and looks at Louis with a worried glance in his eyes. 

“Louis?” Mrs. Cooper calls out again, and Louis gets shaken from his self destructive mind and stares ahead at her blankly. People around the room stare at him, blinking. He feels their eyes burning and he recognizes the pain that comes with humility, his face turning bright red. 

“I don’t know the answer,” Louis stutters out, his fingers gripping tightly into his jeans underneath his desk, trying really hard to look cool again. He leans back, breathing out slowly and placing a fake smirk on his lips. Mrs. Cooper sighs, but quickly moves on,  _ thank God,  _ but Zayn is not so quick to leave it be. He reaches for his phone, fingers tapping speedily with his eyebrows furrowed tightly.

_ What’s going on with you? _

Louis shrugs at Zayn sitting next to him as he reads it, quickly typing his response.

_ hungover & tired & hating this class _

Zayn seems to calm down at that, smiling pitifully at Louis’ slouched figure. He puts his phone away, turning his body back to the class. Louis, however, does not. 

Raising his hand, he quickly motions to the door as a hint to go use the bathroom. Mrs. Cooper waves a lazy thumbs up at him, and he saunters over.

He sits on the toilet seat with his sweaty hands gripping his phone tightly. His feet tap rhythmically on the tile floors of the lavatory, acting as a reminder of his own anxiety. He types and retypes his message about a thousand times (“ _ i didn't mean to say all that…” and “i don't know why i said it,” and “just get over it please, i didn't mean it.”) _ before landing on a final draft.

_ i'm sorry for snapping at you at your place.  _

He gets a response almost  _ too  _ quickly.

_ what? do you want a blowjob or something? why do you suddenly care? _

His heart sinks and he bites down on the skin of his bottom lip to try and keep focused.

_ no that's not it _

_ i was a dick and i'm sorry, that's it. i don't need you to forgive me, that's up to you, i just had to let you know i don't like the way that night went down _

He feels a pain in his tummy when he writes  _ that night _ , reminded of their little handjobs and moans and sweet talk. He wants it back but he also wants to leave it and never get back to it. He wants it to happen again but he also wants Harry to move across the world so he never has to see him again. So that their separation is inevitable, not even up to Louis. Or Harry. Or anyone for that matter.

Louis waits for a few more minutes before putting his phone back in his pocket and getting back to class. No response from Harry. 

  
  


Louis gets home with a bit of a knot in his stomach, feeling anxious and sad and frustrated. He sets down his bag by the stairs, throws his car keys on the kitchen table and gets ready to rush upstairs, close the door, open the window, and take a fucking  _ nap _ . His body aches and his mind feels like a million seperate little pieces, all unhappy and dumb.

So, naturally, the one day he wants to be alone, his sisters need to be all over him.

"Lou,  _ please _ ! Mom never has time and we can't drive yet. Please,  _ please _ , could you take us to the mall?” Fizzy and Lottie stand by the stairs just as he makes his way up them. Their big eyes stare at him like an insane reminder of reality and in some kind of dazed and disillusioned state, he responds,

“Yeah, yeah, sure, guys.” 

In a circle of cheers and smiles, they jump around him and toss him his car keys back from the kitchen. He grabs it, somehow, and makes his way outside until he's in the car and he's starting the motor and he feels like nothing is real.

It's not like he cares about the Harry aspect of it all. He cares that his words meant so little to him. That apologizing made him think that he just wanted to have sex again. He's not sincere. He's never been sincere. He’s never had to come to terms with being a dickhead because nobody ever points out the subtle things that make him one.

Fizzy lets a few Cage the Elephant songs play on the radio and Louis smiles, subconsciously, when he hears  _ Telescope.  _ It's the song that he plays when he's studying, or sitting by himself, or writing on the rare occasions he gets the time to. And just as Louis starts to regain a sense of reality, he finds himself pulling into the car park of their shopping complex. 

“Thanks, Lou!” Lottie cheers, and Fizzy giggles as she steps out of the car. “You coming?” Louis stands still in place, confused by the question.  _ He has to come in, too? _

As if it's a common theme today, Louis nods his head in dissociation and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he walks through the sliding doors, following after his two sisters. 

Louis is, so far, having a fucking awful time. He's stressed and tired of walking and hungry and sad and it's really loud at the mall, he's realized, and it makes him angry. They've gone to  _ too _ many stores (Urban Outfitters, American Eagle, blah, blah, blah) and Louis is tired of seeing the same shirt in the same color for a different price in each one of them.

But Fizzy and Lottie seem to be enjoying themselves. They're doing try-on parties and laughing and drinking milkshakes. They're happy and they're friends and it's nice to see, it really is.

Until they enter PacSun. 

Fizzy widens her eyes and furrows her eyebrows in, pouting her lips out. She clasps her hands and brings them to her face,  _ begging  _ Louis to just try some outfits on. Just a few.

Louis feels normal. And he laughs, “Stop making that ridiculous face, love. Fine, I’ll try some things on.” Lottie cackles and  _ immediately  _ races over to the skirts until Louis clears his throat and says, “Not gonna happen.”

Regardless of what Louis says, Lottie and Fizzy still pick him out a few skirts and a  _ lot _ of shirts and some pants from the men’s section as they all sneak into the big dressing room towards the side. “L _ oouuuu _ . Your phone is buzzing like crazy!” Fizzy mumbles as she sits on the bench next to Louis’ phone, trying to slip a pair of jeans over her hips. 

Louis rolls his eyes and looks in the mirror as he grabs the bottom of his shirt and throws it over his head. “Probably Nad. Don't worry ‘bout it.” 

Fizzy grabs his phone and sees the locked messages came from  _ harry styles _ and  _ not _ his girlfriend. She frowns, quickly saying, “Who’s Harry? He sent you, like, five messages.” 

Louis throws a crop top that Lottie picked out over his head and pinches his lips together tensely. “A friend from school.” But he can't help the smile that teases the corners of his mouth. 

Fizzy throws a glance at Lottie and Lottie winks at her, as if knowing something is up, and they get back to trying on another pair of jeans. Louis sits down on the little wooden bench, dressed in some weird crop top and his usual jeans, and he quickly grabs for his phone. She was right. Five notifications from  _ harry styles. _

_ neither did i _

_ i didn't mean to insult you but you should work on not finding gay an insult … that is literally the root of homophobia _

_ i mean fuck i have an incredible time whenever we’re together & i know you do too & that's not a bad thing. you don't have to think that it's a bad thing _

_ whatever, i don't know, sorry if this pisses you off more. i'm just saying what i think is true. _

_ we should talk tomorrow on the east wing roof, please? just skip during my free block _

Louis finds himself turning red in shame at the texts he's received back from him. He assumed that Harry wouldn't call him out, because until last Friday, they’d never been in an altercation like that. Obviously, the attitude he has towards gay people is homophobic. But it's like that with most people in the school. It's a fucking miracle Harry felt comfortable enough to come out. It's a miracle that Harry fights for his queerness.

“Lou? What's up?” Lottie’s voice snaps Louis out of his temporary trance, and he shakes his head lightly to come back to life. He turns the off-button on his phone and he places it aside quickly. There's a fake smile glistening on his face, and Fizzy rolls her eyes.

“Nothing! Ha, nothing. Are we done here?” He asks, shy and embarrassed and feeling weirdly attracted to Harry taking control over his emotions like this. Hm. Fizzy shakes her head, holding up another whole fucking pile of shit and tossing Louis a mini skirt. “Fizz. I’m not wearing a skirt. That's ridiculous.” Fizzy pouts, and Louis throws the piece of clothing onto the ground.

“Your loss, y’know? Boys look cute in skirts!” Lottie smiles, and now it's Louis’ turn to roll his eyes.

And then he thinks about Harry in the skirt. The little Brandy Melville tennis skirt. To see  _ Harry,  _ the prettiest boy he's ever seen with the prettiest legs he's ever seen, in a little skirt. He feels a little dizzy as he thinks of every possibility. Harry’s cock dripping out of the bottom of the skirt. His cum on Harry’s skirt. Harry riding him in the skirt. Harry getting  _ destroyed  _ in the skirt. Him eating Harry out in the skirt. He thinks of Harry asking him if he looks pretty and suddenly he's short of breath and he decides right then and there that he  _ has  _ to buy the skirt.

Lottie and Fizzy haven't noticed his little freak-out, quickly moving back to trying on their dresses, and so Louis does nothing to light attention to it. He looks at the skirt. The label says size Medium, but Lottie always says that they run small but they don't go higher than a medium, but he doesn't fucking care. He'll learn how to sew and make it fit Harry if he fucking has to. He just needs to see Harry in this fucking skirt. He folds it and lays it behind him, quickly taking his crop top off and throwing it aside. His fingers ready for his regular cotton-blend shirt and he throws it over his head, grabbing the skirt and crossing his arms behind his back.

He coughs awkwardly, Fizzy and Lottie look at him curiously. “I’m gonna -- I’m gonna head out. Okay? I'll see you out there.” He doesn't wait for a response as he creeps out of the dressing room back into the store with the skirt still grasped in his hands. He runs back over to the Brandy Melville section of the store and creeps for other things to get Harry.

And yeah, you know, he shouldn't be supporting them, he knows that. But he doesn't care. Not really. Because he sees a little white and pink crop top and he can't help but think of Harry in it and he grabs it faster than he can take half a breath. 

He sees a little white headband and he decides that that is fucking perfect. He sees pearl hair clips and he decides it’s even more perfect. And then he sees little grey shorts and he almost moans at the  _ idea  _ of Harry’s ass in them and without a second thought he runs to the checkout and gets in line. Two people in front of him. 

He's basically passed out as he walks up to the cashier and rings his items. Expensive. Louis doesn't fucking care. Just as he's about to swipe his card --

“Lou! Lou!” Lottie shouts, running up to him in line. She cocks an eyebrow up at the price of his collective items. He looks at her and turns red, small smile playing on his lips.

“It- It’s just a few things for Nadine. Her birthday’s next month.” That's true, but he's not gonna get an outfit from a store that he knows she doesn't like. Lottie smiles hesitantly as the woman rings him up -- almost $200 -- and Louis steps aside for Fizzy and Lottie to check out.

Immediately, Louis walks out of the store and shoves his phone in his hands, sitting down on a bench right outside the store, crossing his legs to cover his semi. He texts Harry back.

_ yeah i'll be there _

_ i don't know how to handle it all. it's not an excuse but it's all i've got. _

And right then, Fizzy and Lottie walk out with two bags each and they cheerfully drag Louis along to the next destination.

_ Victoria's Secret _ .

Louis gulps. He’s  _ fucked _ .

They walk inside together and Louis pauses as soon as their shoes hit the black tile. “I -- I think it's better if I go separate. Kinda awkward.” He shoves his hands inside of his pockets and shuffles awkwardly, waiting for a response.

“Good idea, and then you can get something for Nadine,” Lottie winks, giggling as she pulls Fizzy to the back of the store with her. Louis sighs shakily, staying up front.

In the middle, there's huge cases of multiple sizes and types of panties. Louis curiously walks around, and his fingers trace over a lacy pink pair. He grabs a medium and gulps, looking to see if nobody is looking. He knows he has a girlfriend, but somehow it terrifies him having somebody catch him buying lingerie.

He sees a white  _ crotch less  _ pair and his eyes widen, quickly grabbing some random fucking size. He looks behind him and sees full fucking  _ sets _ . Garters and stocking and underwear. Black and slick and  _ sexy _ and he  _ needs _ it. Needs to see Harry in it. Needs to touch Harry over his panties for hours. Needs to be  _ stepped _ on by Harry wearing these clothes. Holy shit, he imagines pushing the panties aside to suck Harry’s dick slow and hot and finger his pretty asshole and shit, he's definitely hard and fuck -- there's a young employee standing next to him with worried eyes.

“Can I help you?” The girl, with a black mullet and heavy eyeliner, asks him soft and sweet, and Louis’ eyes go wide.

“No! I mean -- yes? Uh -- I want to buy this for -- for my… my girlfriend. Please?” She smiles, nodding gently as she steps forward and begins to look in the drawers. “S- size Medium, for the -” he coughs, “for the underwear.” She opens the drawer on the bottom and fishes out the black underwear, followed by the stocking and the garters. 

“We have the same set in white, if you’re interested?” Louis almost swallows on his own fucking spit.

“Uh! Hmm... “ He tries really fucking hard to not get a raging boner. “Yes, that one, too, please.” She smiles, as if she knows that he’s fucking Harry Styles and as if she knows that he’s gay and that he’s not gonna be fucking his girlfriend in these. 

She has the two sets ready for him and then she asks the golden question,

“What’s her bra size?” 

Louis fumbles with the other pairs of panties in his hands and he sniffles loud and hard, eyes searching around the room. “No bra! She- yeah, she doesn’t do bras. Sorry.”

She smiles, nodding, and then she’s taking Louis to the checkout, as if he has no other choice but to say yes. And you know what? He doesn’t.

Because everytime he thinks about touching Harry he feels like he’s fucking insane. It feels like he’s finding out about sex for the first time, jizzing in his pants and giving sloppy handjobs and touching each other like you  _ need _ to feel every little part of one another or you’ll lose everything forever. 

His body must have checked out for him and not noticed the $250 dollar expense he just made, because minutes later, he’s sitting in the bathroom with his head in his hands. 

There’s this huge panic in his chest. The only way he’s ever heard of gay people until Harry was in the worst way ever. What they do is gross and disgusting and it makes you a sissy, a moronic and pathetic and feminine sissy. And when he fucked Harry, he felt like it didn’t matter because everything about all of it was so perfect. All of it. His moans, his hands, his body, his voice, his face,  _ everything _ , and that’s more than he’s ever been able to say having sex with a woman.

But he doesn’t want to admit that. Because people aren’t like him where he lives. People will make fun of him like they make fun of Harry but  _ worse _ because he’s also supposed to be this tough, hot quarterback that’s obsessed with his girlfriend’s pussy. But he’s not. He’s obsessed with Harry’s face and mouth and body and  _ cock _ and asshole and he won't admit it but he knows he already has. It’s useless. He likes everything about being with Harry except for the realization that Harry is not a girl.

His eyes feel heavy as he taps his phone open, shaky breath escaping.

Harry again.

_ i know its hard. _

_ theres no right way to do any of this. if you have a good time with me and i have a good time with you, that’s all that matters. we’re not little kids. _

_ all i know is that no matter how hard i tried to i couldnt forget about you while you didn’t text me  _

_ but let’s talk about this tomorrow. please. _

Louis inhales deeply, breath shuddering in shallow fear. He can feel tears prickling in his eyes and he’s fucking humiliated even though he’s alone in a bathroom stall. His chest feels so tight and his breathing is so shallow and he hates everything that’s happening to him. The walls are tight and his face hurts and his hands feel numb. Slowly, he crouches into himself on the floor of the bathroom and he cries.

Louis cries until it feels like crying isn’t even a real thing anymore. For ten minutes, he just cries, no matter who hears him. Some guys have gone in and out quickly, just ignoring his stupid breathing and shallow panic.

When he regains his strength, he takes a deep breath in and out, shoving his phone into his hands to shakily text Harry back. He's met with a wall of other texts, though, from Lottie and Fizz, asking him where he was. Shamefully, he texts them.

_ im sorry. panic attack. ill meet you at the food court? _

And immediately, he got two hearts on his text in the group chat and a sad face from Lottie and a,

_ Don’t be sorry!! Love u, Lou! We’ll get your favorite :-) _

from Fizzy.

Louis feels fucking worthless as he walks back to the food court shakily, hearing his phone buzz once more.  _ Harry _ .

_ meet me at the park at 9. i can't stop thinking and i need to talk asap _

Louis shallowly breathes, his fingers typing for him.

_ okay, i'll see you then. where? _

re:  _ playground? _

_ got it _

Louis shoves all the clothes he got into his backpack, panic flushing over his face, before they even got inside the house. They got back from the mall at around seven, after having eaten a shit ton of Chinese food, and then Lottie and Fizzy did  _ another  _ try-on haul at home. It was exhausting. 

Louis has not stopped thinking about what Harry might look like in the clothes he bought for him. He feels weak in the knees just picturing Harry’s dick pressed against the band of tight, white panties. He closes and locks his door, immediately sinking  down on the bed with his face in the pillows and one hand firmly grabbing his cock.

It's desperate and messy and dirty and Louis feels faint of heart when he thinks about Harry sucking his dick with a little headband pulling his hair back. When he thinks about Harry calling him daddy while wearing cute little clothes. It all feels wrong and right and Louis does not hesitate to cum all over his bedsheets, pounding his hips into the fabric and his hand.

“Holy shit,” Louis whimpers, shutting his eyes closed tightly and riding his hips into his hand gently. “Jesus, he's so pretty,” he mumbles it to himself, like they're arguing, “but he's hot too. How the fuck does he do it?” He smiles soft and excited and squeezes the last bit of cum out of himself. 

“What have I gotten myself into?” Louis grunts, turning onto his back and pushing his pants back up so that he's at least fully covered. He spreads his arms wide and sighs, staring at the ceiling. “I like him but I don't want to. Not at all. I wanna hate him,” he whispers it like it's not even going to his head. Like if he says it all out loud then it at least  _ out there _ . 

“Wish I could just -- just touch him right now.” He closes his eyes, imagining Harry next to him. “How is it possible to… to feel like that? The way I do when I’m with him? Normal? No, anything but normal. Like, so -- like everything is happening at once.” 

“Fuck this. For real. Why do I… why do I have to deal with this? I’m tired and I… I just want to go to bed. I just want to sleep. I don’t wanna talk to him tonight. Fuck.” 

Talking out loud feels calming, like somebody else is there to experience it all with him. And it’s judgement-free and happy and not… sharing. Louis is  _ not _ good at sharing. (Never has been. It’s hard to share how you feel during a grade eight health lesson on mental illness when you feel like you’re drowning. Maybe that’s just him though).

His feet lead him slowly to the bathroom attached to his room and he turns on the shower and blindly starts to undress. An hour until he meets with Harry again. All he can think about as he slowly manuevers into the shower is fucking Harry in the shower. Against the fucking wall. He feels faint again.

\---

Harry’s waiting on the swings. 

Waiting is the wrong word. He’s… lying low on the swings. He’s just drinking a coke and smoking a Red Label and he’s not thinking about Louis. He’s just not.

Not even when it’s a minute over the meeting time and Louis isn’t sitting in the swing next to him yet. Not even when he’s certain Louis isn’t even going to show up at all. Why would he, after all? Nobody has ever put this much effort into a casual sexual relationship with him. Because they’re in a casual sexual relationship. 

He doesn’t let himself believe anything other than that. He can’t. And honestly, he doesn’t really want to.

It’s two minutes after the meeting time when Louis speeds in on his bike and Harry can’t fucking stop the smile creeping up his face while he stomps out his cig. “You’re la _ aate! _ ” Harry sing-songs, clear teasing in his voice.

Louis is a homophobic gay teenage boy. It makes sense that he doesn’t want to… understand any of this. But it kind of pisses Harry off how un-frank he is with all of it. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Fizzy wouldn’t fuckin’ fall asleep. Christ.”

Harry approaches him slowly, watches as he dumps his bike on the floor and stares back at him with a smile on his face. He’s the one making this all so complicated. He knows he is. But there’s just something impossible about making it feel uncomplicated. 

“It’s okay. Just messing with you.” Harry’s arms wrap around Louis’ shoulders, leaning into him slightly.

Louis can’t stop the flutter in his chest (and that begs the question; does he even want to stop it?), and presses his hands quickly to Harry’s waist. “I really am sorry,” he whispers, mouth slanted.

It would be a lie for Harry to say that it’s okay.

“I know,” he says instead, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Louis’ ear, “I know.”

He had this whole fucking thing prepared. Really. He’d been waiting and waiting for this moment so he could say everything he has to say but looking at Louis’ pained face now, the only thing he wants to tell him is how beautiful his eyes are. How wonderful it is to be together. To be here. To be alive, here, together.

And fuck it all, right? Harry is pissed -- he has a right to be. He knows he has a right to be pissed. He just… doesn’t know why he doesn’t want it to come out anymore.

“I really like being around you,” Louis mutters, pressing a quick (but very much anticipated) kiss against Harry’s mouth. “And… I’m like a different person around you. I-- I don’t know why. Or how. I just. yeah. I just feel so much different around you, and when it goes away it’s just… it’s all self-hatred. And I… I’m sorry about all the shit I said to you. I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things--”

“Lou,” Harry cuts him off smiling, kissing him again, “I know. I like being around you, too, you know?”

“Cool,” he breathes, having completely forgotten about his no-kissing-unless-during-sex rule. This is a special occasion, he supposes. “Yeah. I-- yeah. I mean. Thanks.”

Harry takes his hand and leads him quickly to the swings, smile on his face. It feels too nice to be true, honestly. Too sweet. Too romantic. Too friendly, even. 

Because they’re both swinging their feet high in the air and laughing and Louis is cackling about being too high up and Harry calls him a pussy and Louis doesn’t even care. He doesn’t. It just feels nice to not care. 

Nice things can never really last forever, can they? Louis can’t stop thinking about it. It’s basically what he’s shaped his intuition out of. If something seems too good to be true -- it probably is. And right now, this definitely seems too good to be true. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't updated in so long omg 


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